England -- Social life and customs -- 18th century -- Fiction; Health resorts -- Fiction
"So, sir, your late phrenzy was nothing more than the unbridled haste
and inconsiderate volition of youthful folly?" sternly demanded the
Beau.
"I 'faith, I knocked over one of old Daish's precious pots, and was
making haste to remove it from the region of his laments. That's all,
and there's my hand on't."
"You will pardon me," replied the Beau drawing back, "I have no
objection to shaking a hand stained by honest toil, but I have never
shaken a hand sullied by mere zest for uncleanliness."
"As you will, dear Beau," laughed Mr. Lovely.
The Beau was about to point an example to adorn his statement when he
was interrupted by the entrance of severe Mrs. Grindle clasping her nose
with one hand, and with the other holding at arm's length the offending
jacynth by a shred of its roots.
"Mr. Lovely, sir," she began and as our hero pulled forward a chair and
the Beau leaned back to listen, she continued, "I have known a cat
kitten in one of the maids' beds."
"How very distressing," murmured the Beau letting the firelight play in
the diamonds of his rings.
"But never, never," proclaimed Mrs. Grindle swelling like Mr. Handel's
_Largo_, "have I known a young gentleman want to turn his bachelor bed
into a ploughed field. Mr. Lovely, sir, I'll trouble you to say if this
is your planting or did you wish to insinuate that your bed was not made
this morning?"
"Mrs. Grindle, madam," replied the accused, "you have heard of beds and
you have heard of garden-beds. Mine is a garden-bed. A Parterre
impromptu, a Landskip in miniature, a Bucolick of slumber, a dimity
Eclogue. In a word--but pray, Mrs. Grindle, my dear Mrs. Grindle, out
of regard for me rehabilitate that jacynth without a word to Mr. Daish,
and I, out of regard for you, will certainly pay for the washing of the
bedspread."
Mr. Lovely smiled so very engagingly and looked so completely innocent
of any desire to insinuate anything except Mrs. Grindle's good-nature
that the housekeeper gave way, condescended to smile and, as she
retired, threw a quick glance in the direction of a mirrour to notice
the angle of her snowy cap.
Having reduced Mrs. Grindle to affableness, Mr. Lovely turned his smile
towards the Beau. The latter had watched with much satisfaction the
progress of his favourite's negociations, thinking to himself that a man
who could circumvent such a dragon as the housekeeper would be very well
able to keep in order the most self-assertive of Duchesses. He began to
relent his indignation and, as Lovely smiled at him, to see in his late
impetuousness no more than the natural activity of a jolly young man.
Moreover, for a certain reason, he had a genuine affection for the
rogue, and was glad to perceive his high spirits.
"I came here this morning in the hope of a serious conversation with
some of your friends. Are they--are they in the--er--taproom?"
"They're all gone after maids."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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