England -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Teachers -- Fiction
Why should pity for her have overwhelmed him suddenly at that moment? He
did not love her, not the least fraction; yet he would have died for her
if such had need to be. If she were in danger he would not stay to
think; he would risk life or limb for her sake without a premonitory
thought. He almost longed for the opportunity to sacrifice himself for
her in some such way. He felt he owed it to her. But there was one
sacrifice that was _too_ hard--he could not live with her in
contentment, giving up Clare. He knew he couldn't. He saw quite clearly
in the future the day when he would leave Helen and go to Clare. Not
fate this time, but the hungering desire of his heart, that would not
let him rest.
And yet, was not this same desire fate itself, his own fate, leading him
on and further to some inevitable end? Only that he did not fear it. He
opened wide his arms, welcoming it, longing for and therefore
unconscious of its domination.
He stood in front of the gilded dinginess of the picture-place,
pondering on his destiny, when there came up to him a shabby little man
in a long tattered overcoat, who asked him for a light. Speed, who was
so anxious not to be a snob that he usually gave to strangers the
impression of being one, proffered a box of matches and smiled. But for
the life of him he could not think of anything to say. He felt he ought
to say something, lest the other fellow might think him surly; he racked
his brain for some appropriate remark and eventually said: "Nice night."
The other lit the stump of a cigarette contemplatively and replied:
"Yes. Nice night.... Thanks.... Waiting for somebody?"
"Yes," replied Speed, rather curtly. He had no desire to continue the
conversation, still less to discuss his own affairs.
"Rotten hole, Seacliffe, in winter," resumed the stranger, showing no
sign of moving on.
"Yes," agreed Speed.
"Nothing to do--nowhere to go--absolutely the deadest place on God's
earth. I live here and I know. Every night I take a stroll about this
time and to-night's bin the first night this year I've ever seen anything
happen at all."
"Indeed?"
The stranger ignored the obvious boredness of Speed's voice, and
continued: "Yes. That's the truth. But it happened all right to-night.
Quite exciting, in fact."
He looked at Speed to see if his interest was in any way aroused. Such
being not yet so he remarked again: "Yes, quite exciting." He paused and
added:
"Bit gruesome perhaps--to some folks."
Speed said, forcing himself to be interested:
"Why, what was it?"
And the other, triumphant that he had secured an attentive audience at
last, replied: "Body found. Pulled up off the breakwater.... Drowned, of
course."
Even now Speed was only casually interested.
"Really? And who was it?"
"Don't know the name.... A woman's body."
"Nobody identified her yet?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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