England -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Teachers -- Fiction
Since the quarrel about Smallwood he and Helen had got on tolerably well
together. She had not asked Smallwood in to tea again, and he judged
that she did not intend to, though to save her dignity she would still
persist in her right to do so whenever she wished. The arrangement was
quite satisfactory to him. But, despite the settlement of that affair,
their relationship had suddenly become a thing of fierce, alternating
contrasts. They were either terrifically happy or else desperately
miserable. The atmosphere, when he came into Lavery's after an absence
of even a quarter of an hour, might either be dull and glowering or else
radiant with joy. He could never guess which it would be, and he could
never discover reasons for whichever atmosphere he encountered. But
invariably he was forced into responding; if Helen were moody and silent
he also remained quiet, even if his inclinations were to go to the piano
and sing comic songs. And if Helen were bright and joyful he forced
himself to boisterousness, no matter what press of gravity was upon
him. He sometimes found himself stopping short on his own threshold,
frightened to enter lest Helen's mood, vastly different from his own,
might drag him up or down too disconcertingly. Even their times of
happiness, more wonderful now than ever, were drug-like in possessing
after-effects which projected themselves backward in a tide of sweet
melancholy that suffused everything. He knew that he loved her more
passionately than ever, and he knew also that the beauty of it was
mysteriously impregnated with sadness.
She stole up to him now in the fog, dainty and pretty in her heavy fur
cloak. She put a hand on his sleeve; evidently this was one of her
happy moods.
"Oh, Kenneth--_what_ a fog! Aren't you glad everything's all over? It
went off wonderfully, didn't it? Do you think the Rayners will be able
to get home all right--they live out at Deepersdale, you know?"
Replying to the last of her queries, he said: "Oh yes, I don't think
it's quite bad enough to stop them altogether."
Then after a pause she went on: "Clare's just putting her things on and
I told her to meet you here. You'll see her home, won't you?"
He wondered in a vague kind of way why Helen was so desperately anxious
that he should take Clare on her way home, but he was far too exhausted
mentally to give the matter sustained excogitation. It seemed to him
that Helen suddenly vanished, that he waited hours in the fog, and that
Clare appeared mysteriously by his side, speaking to him in a voice that
was full of sharp, recuperative magic. "My dear man, aren't you going to
put your coat on?" Then he deliberately laughed and said: "Heavens, yes,
I'd forgotten--just a minute if you don't mind waiting!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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