London (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Comradeship only, he believed, for he did not, in any usual sense of the
word, love her. She had become a quiet, steadying, soothing influence, a
mental support and sedative. It was not her strange, placid comeliness
that appealed to him; it was not the feminine in her: she was almost to
him what a man friend would be, save that, as a woman, he had to treat
her with respect, and with self-respect. She had not come between him
and his wife, but, on the contrary, by complementing her deficiencies,
had made her the longer endurable. He had grown accustomed during the
last few months to her companionship; he had not, indeed, talked much to
her, or in any degree sought her confidence, but her mere presence had
acted soothingly upon him; and to be with her had been restful and
pacifying. Her return to her brother’s house would practically mean that
she would go out of his life, except for occasional visits and meetings.
But he could think of no compelling reason that he could urge for her
staying longer with them, and, as she had accused him of being, he was
well aware of her firmness in carrying out any decision to which she had
come. He had been accustomed to having his own way with those around
him, but instead of irritating him, it added to his respect and
admiration for her, to find that what she thought right to do, she would
do, and that no persuasion of his could move or stay her.
“Tell me why you are going?” he asked, as they turned to go homeward,
and faced the eager wind. “And why you think that Aggy doesn’t care so
much for you as she used to do?”
“If I were a man I suppose I should be expected to give a reason for my
doings. But you see, I’m a mere woman, and of course act on impulse.”
“Not at all a mere woman. And much too clever, not to know that
generalizations are always untrue. I conclude that a man’s an ignorant
ass when he says that something or other is ‘just like a woman.’ Though
it is rather like a woman to avoid answering a question by making an
aimless remark. Why are you going home?”
“Why should I have stayed so long? Why shouldn’t I go away?
Why—why—lots of ‘whys.’”
“Don’t you enjoy being with us?”
“Of course I do,” she answered, no sign of the pain the question caused
her showing in her tone, though she ached to be able to tell him how
exquisite was the torture to which he was putting her. “Of course I do.
I _did_ think you knew that; you’re not the sort of man who needs to be
told everything every day.”
“Well, I won’t make use of an old friend’s privilege of worrying you.
But, look here, when’ll you come to see us again?”
“When Aggy asks me, if she doesn’t ask me too soon.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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