Man-woman relationships -- Drama; Marriage -- Drama; Paramours -- Drama
CHARTERIS. Not at the Ibsen club, quite the contrary. After all, what
can we do? You know what breaks up most clubs for men and women.
There's a quarrel--a scandal--cherchez la femme--always a woman at the
bottom of it. Well, we knew this when we founded the club; but we
noticed that the woman at the bottom of it was always a womanly woman.
The unwomanly women who work for their living and know how to take
care of themselves never give any trouble. So we simply said we
wouldn't have any womanly women; and when one gets smuggled in she has
to take care not to behave in a womanly way. We get on all right. (He
rises.) Come to lunch with me there tomorrow and see the place.
CUTHBERTSON (rising). No, he's engaged to me. But you can join us.
CHARTERIS. What hour?
CUTHBERTSON. Any time after twelve. (To Craven) It's at 90 Cork
street, at the other end of the Burlington Arcade.
CRAVEN (making a note). 90, you say. After twelve. (He suddenly
relapses into gloom.) By the bye, don't order anything special for me.
I'm not allowed wine--only Apollinaris. No meat either--only a scrap
of fish occasionally. I'm to have a short life, but not a merry one.
(Sighing.) Well, well. (Bracing himself up.) Now, Julia, it's time for
us to be off. (Julia rises.)
CUTHBERTSON. But where on earth is Grace? I must go and look for her.
(He turns to the door.)
JULIA (stopping him). Oh, pray don't disturb her, Mr. Cuthbertson.
She's so tired.
CUTHBERTSON. But just for a moment to say good night. (Julia and
Charteris look at one another in dismay. Cuthbertson looks quickly at
them, perceiving that something is wrong.)
CHARTERIS. We must make a clean breast of it, I see.
CUTHBERTSON. Clean breast?
CHARTERIS. The truth is, Cuthbertson, Mrs. Tranfield, who is, as you
know, the most thoughtful of women, took it into her head that
I--well, that I particularly wanted to speak to Miss Craven alone. So
she said she was tired and wanted to go to bed.
CRAVEN (scandalized). Tut! tut!
CUTHBERTSON. Oho! is that it? Then it's all right. She never goes to
bed as early as this. I'll fetch her in a moment. (He goes out
confidently, leaving Charteris aghast.)
JULIA. Now you've done it. (She rushes to the round table and snatches
up her mantle and bonnet.) I'm off. (She makes for the door.)
CRAVEN (horrified). What are you doing, Julia? You can't go until
you've said good night to Mrs. Tranfield. It would be horribly rude.
JULIA. You can stay if you like, Daddy: I can't. I'll wait for you in
the hall. (She hurries out.)
CRAVEN (following her). But what on earth am I to say? (Stopping as
she disappears, and turning to Charteris grumbling) Now really you
know, Charteris, this is devilish awkward, upon my life it is. That
was a most indelicate thing of you to say plump out before us
all--that about you and Julia.
CHARTERIS. I'll explain it all to-morrow. Just at present we'd really
better follow Julia's example and bolt. (He starts for the door.)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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