Man-woman relationships -- Drama; Marriage -- Drama; Paramours -- Drama
CRAVEN. Well, really, the rules of this club are so extraordinary that
I don't know. (To Grace.) May I ask, Mrs. Tranfield, whether you have
any complaint to make of my daughter's conduct?
GRACE. Yes, Colonel Craven. I am going to complain to the committee.
SYLVIA. I knew you'd overdo it some day, Julia. (Craven, at a loss,
looks at Cuthbertson.)
CUTHBERTSON. Don't look at me, Dan. Within these walls a father's
influence counts for nothing.
CRAVEN. May I ask the ground of complaint, Mrs. Tranfield?
GRACE. Simply that Miss Craven is essentially a womanly woman, and, as
such, not eligible for membership.
JULIA. It's false. I'm not a womanly woman. I was guaranteed when I
joined just as you were.
GRACE. By Mr. Charteris, I think, at your own request. I shall call
him as a witness to your thoroughly womanly conduct just now in his
presence and Dr. Paramore's.
CRAVEN. Cuthbertson: are they joking; or am I dreaming?
CUTHBERTSON (grimly). It's real, Dan: you're awake.
SYLVIA (taking Craven's left arm and hugging it affectionately). Dear
old Rip Van Winkle!
CRAVEN. Well, Mrs. Tranfield, all I can say is that I hope you will
succeed in establishing your complaint, and that Julia may soon see
the last of this most outrageous institution. (Sylvia, still caressing
his arm, laughs at him; Charteris returns.)
CHARTERIS (at the door). May I come in?
SYLVIA (releasing the Colonel). Yes: you're wanted here as a witness.
(Charteris comes in.) It's a bad case of womanliness.
GRACE (half aside to him, significantly). You understand. (Julia,
watching them jealously, leaves her father and gets close to
Charteris. Grace adds aloud) I shall expect your support before the
committee.
JULIA. If you have a scrap of manhood you will take my part.
CHARTERIS. But then I shall be expelled for being a manly man.
Besides, I'm on the committee myself; I can't act as judge and
witness, too. You must apply to Paramore: he saw it all.
GRACE. Where is Dr. Paramore?
CHARTERIS. Just gone home.
JULIA (with sudden resolution). What is Dr. Paramore's number in
Savile Row?
CHARTERIS. Seventy-nine. (Julia goes out quickly by the staircase
door, to their astonishment. Charteris follows her to the door, which
swings back in his face, leaving him staring after her through, the
glass. Sylvia runs to Grace.)
SYLVIA. Grace: go after her. Don't let her get beforehand with
Paramore. She'll tell him the most heartbreaking stories about how
she's been treated, and get him round completely.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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