The World, the Flesh and the Devil have gone out of partnership in the ’Frisco _News-Letter_. The head of the firm retires. THE SPOTTED SPRINTER. AFTER THE MANNER OF MR. STEAMIN’ STORK. I saw a man making a fool of himself; He was writing a poem, Scratch, scratch, scratch went his pen, “Go ’way, Man,” says I; “you can’t do it.” He picked up a handful of red devils and Threw them at my head. “You infernal liar,” he howled, “I can write poetry with my toes!” I was disquieted. I turned and Ran like a Blue Streak for the Horizon, Yelling Bloody Murder. When I got there I Bit a piece out of it And lay down on my stomach and Thought. And breathed hard. AN EARNEST CRY AND PRAYER. ADDRESSED TO THE BAIRNS AND OTHER RELATIVES OF ALL SUCCESSFUL AUTHORS. Ye kin of unco’ writing men, How can ye sing sae weak, sae flat; How can ye wag the little pen, And I sae weary and a’ that! A near relation ye may ain, Wha’s joyed me muckle in the past— That canna sooth my inward pain— Ye’ll break my swelling heart at last! Thou well mayst be a poet’s son, And still shouldst gather trolley fare; The daughter of a mighty one, And yet shouldst maul the typewritair! Oh, relatives of canny men, Think ye that I’ve a heart to feel; Stay, stay the wild cavorting pen, And gie my wounds a chance to heal. THE AHKOOND OF SWAT. TO THE NICEST GIRL. AFTER THE FRENCH OF PIERRE DE RONSARD. Eyes of brown: The major key In which, ’tis plain, days ought to be, Seems all in minor chords; the strings Have slipped down half-a-tone, and things Are dark as blackest night to me. And why? Because your brown eyes bring The vision of a heart to me; The vision of a heart to sing Of Life and Love and Loyalty— I may not win. That’s why the strings Are out of tune. H. P. T. ADVERTISEMENTS. ROCK & BUMBALL, Literary Undertakers. Peacock Feather Caskets a Specialty. Caxton Building, Chicago. * * * * * USE BLISS CARMAN’S CONDITION Powders. Make poets lay. Chicago and Canada. * * * * * H₂ BOYSEN, Literary Analyst. Ibsen interpreted while you wait. Columbia College, N. Y. * * * * * WALTER QUEER NICHOLS, ONE of Harper’s Young People, Manufacturer Castoria Jokes. Warranted harmless. Address Harper’s Drawer, Franklin Square, New York. * * * * * MAVERICK BRANDER MATTHEWS, Dealer in Local Color in bulk or tubes. Columbia College, New York. Write for specimens. Reference, Bacheler, Johnson & Bacheler. * * * * * WEE WILLIE WINTER, DESIGNER of graveyards. Weeps to order. References: A. Daly, L. Langtry, A. Rehan. * * * * *