After the ceremony we walked down the aisle together, and as she took my arm her hand trembled. When we reached the entrance I turned and looked square into her glorious eyes. They told me many things that I was glad to know. Now—after a year—I am trying to live up to the ideal man she imagined me to be. And that’s what makes it hard. H. P. T. * * * * * Many of the newspapers which have noticed THE PHILISTINE have expressed their inability to find East Aurora on the map. All the map makers are hereby authorized to print a large red ring around the name of the home of THE PHILISTINE hereafter, but for the benefit of those who pine for immediate knowledge, I clip the following from _Bradstreet’s_: EAST AURORA, Erie Co., pop. 2000, 1880. Bank 1, newspapers 2, Am. Ex., W. N. Y. & P. R. R., 17 miles fr. Buffalo. Headquarters Cloverfield combination of cheese factories. Home of Mambrino King.[1] Product: ginger. [1] _Mambrino King is a horse._ [Illustration: THE BLUFF. DRAWING BY PLUG HAZEN-PLUG.] SIDE TALKS WITH THE PHILISTINES: BEING SUNDRY BITS OF WISDOM WHICH HAVE BEEN HERETOFORE SECRETED, AND ARE NOW SET FORTH IN PRINT. If I had seen it announcing a special feature in the _World_ or _Herald_ for a coming Sunday, I would not have been surprised, but to find the following paragraph in the editorial columns of _The Land of Sunshine_ fills me with wonder: Up to date _The Land of Sunshine_ is the only periodical in the world whose cover is embellished with drawings by the Almighty. It would be interesting to know what the Recording Angel thinks of Mr. Lummis’s coupling of the High Court of Heaven and Aubrey Beardsley. Now if Mr. Lummis could only get his editorials from the same source—— * * * * * When Shem Rock, Ham Garland and Japhet Bumball conspired to spring on an unsuspecting world that three-cornered story entitled _The Land of the Straddle Bug_, they bought two whole bushels of hyphens. In one chapter, by actual count, forty-seven compound words are used. They have even hyphenated such words as dod-rot, dodd-mead, slap-jack, goll-darn, do-tell and gee-whiz. Ham’s own pet “yeh” is used in the story sixty-four times, which does not include four plain “you’s” and three “ye’s,” where the Only Original Lynx-eyed Proof-reader nodded. * * * * *