I notice that a famous globe-trotter is scheduled for a series of articles for a “literary” syndicate of some pretensions. Among her announced themes is Etiquette, both general and particular, and lest there be some misapprehensions I hasten to say that this is not Mr. Bok’s social kindergarten and has no connection with the _Missus’ Home Journal_, A department of this subject is thus set forth in the circular: +-----------------------------------------+ | EXTRAORDINARY ETIQUETTE. | | | | HOW TO MEET SOCIAL EMERGENCIES THAT ARE | | THE OUTGROWTH OF MODERN LIFE: | | | | DIVORCE ETIQUETTE. | | THE FASHIONABLE FUNERAL. | | ENDORSING SOCIAL ASPIRANTS. | | IN CASES OF FINANCIAL FAILURE. | +-----------------------------------------+ It is so nice to be informed what to do when you are divorced and how to treat your friends, if you have any, “in cases of financial failure.” So important, too, seeing that these social emergencies are “the outgrowth of modern life,” and of course it’s legitimate outgrowth—for no illegitimate outgrowth would for a moment engage the virtuous attention of the rival of Nellie Bly. Other chapters tell women how to behave “when dispensing millions,” a valuable thing for every one to know, and also the how and whereas of “the womanly woman” in public life—such occupations being specified as “street cleaning, road making and regulating schools and saloons.” Abundant illustrations are promised, and I have no doubt the newest thing in milk shakes and the jerking of beer will come within their scope. The new woman grows newer every day. * * * * * And is Judge Grant right when he says a man cannot be healthy, virtuous or wise unless his income is ten thousand a year? * * * * * In _Harper’s_ for October Mr. Brander Matthews explains that story-tellers “are of three kinds.” Startling, thrice startling, is this frightful truth which the Second-Prize-Taker sets forth! Three kinds? Gadzooks, and here the world has staggered along for six thousand years believing there were only two—the good and bad. And then the breezy Brander says: “Mr. Du Maurier has the gift of story telling. No doubt Mr. Du Maurier has also other qualities, for instance the gift of pleasant humor and broad sympathy.” Will the Philistines please note that Professor Brander Matthews of Columbia College considers that a man may be a successful novelist and still not have “pleasant humor” and “broad sympathy;” or should we be charitable and take it that he is writing in self defense? But a bright woman at my elbow says she knows what Brander Matthews wrote that article for—he wrote it for _Fifty Dollars_.