* * * * * By whom the offence cometh, let him heed the words of the Forecaster, for it is written in the twenty-sixth verse of the fourteenth chapter of Second Samuel: “And when he polled his head, for it was at every year’s end that he polled his head; because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it, he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels.” * * * * * His name is John Bryan of Ohio. Whoever says otherwise is a rogue and a varlet. * * * * * A feature of the forthcoming _Boklet_ will be “How I Chase My Ink,” by the editor of _Monthly’s_. * * * * * I hereby warn the public against a certain heretical book called _Fables and Essays_ by Hon. John Bryan, Member of Congress. The two fables in this issue are taken from this volume. * * * * * The cabinet of Living Documents, I understand, contains a series which will make known to the world the attractions of a gentleman who has wrought literature by the barrel and is yet largely a creditor to fame. The pictures will be labelled in the usual per annum way—“Mr. Inkling at Nine Months,”—“Mr. Inkling as Othello, _etat_ 34,”—“Mr. Inkling at 50, etc.” Of course we all know that the well of English undefiled is the ink well, but it took the magazine that prints a million a month (references in Ann street) to point out by example and advertising the genius that flows from the molasses and glue roller. It used to be imagined that cerebration had something to do with literature, but we have changed all that. It’s just a question of tons of ink. Gray matter is not in it with dead black. _Vide_ _Munsey’s_ if you doubt it. * * * * * An unknown correspondent writes me from New Medford, Massachusetts, stating that faint glimmering recollections of a former Philistinic existence flit across her mind as she contemplates Tenet Number Thirty Nine of our Creed: “This earth is Hell and we are now being punished for sins committed in a former existence.” Then she says that Dagon must be very merciful, otherwise he would not provide so many good laughs, supplied by his Inspired Servants the editors of THE PHILISTINE. Thank you Unknown Fair One—(Subscription rates one dollar per year, payable to the Bursar). * * * * *