He seats himself, the Ape’s not slow, But tucks the cloth in, and then lathers; When lo! stalk’d by a goodly row, A solemn train of old Church Fathers! With these came Doctors of each Art, And each one pointed to his Beard! Our Goat sprang up, with sudden start, Like one whom conscience makes afeard. “O Ape! this man’s a creature brave, To whom we all like slaves submit; Bearded to-day—t’morrow he’ll shave, Then where’s the good of his boasted wit! “There’s your apron! take your basin! ’Tis best to abide by nature’s rule: His Beard no Goat will see disgrace in, Whom nature did not make a fool!” MORAL. Let your Beards grow in their natural shapes, God made you all _Men_, don’t make yourselves _Apes_! [Illustration] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ III. HISTORICAL SURVEY. ------- EGYPTIANS. HAVING seen that the Beard is a natural feature of the male face, and that the Creator intended it for distinction, protection, and ornament, let us turn lightly over the pages of history and examine the estimation in which it has been held at various times among the leading people, ancient and modern. The first nation which suggests itself is the Egyptian, and very peculiar forms of Beard were assigned by them on their monuments to their gods, kings, and common people. That of the gods is curled and the length of the oval of the face: that of the kings is shaped like an Egyptian doorway, and three fourths of the same standard: of which the people’s is one fourth and nearly square. This appendage seems from the appearance of an attaching band to have been frequently artificial, and probably the Egyptians, who, as you may see by the wig in the British Museum, wore false hair, also wore false Beards. Some have supposed the forms alluded to, to be mere symbols of the male sex on the monuments; but this notion is disproved by male persons being represented without them. That they were occasionally so used, however, is clear from the kingly Beard on that symbol of royalty the Sphynx.