That is all we can expect, even from the wisest and best of men, and Bill is both ❦ Yes, I would take kindly to the law, for guff, bluff and stuff come easily within my grasp. I can cross-buttock a fact; side-step an equity; befuddle a judge—some judges; kerflumix a jury; juggle with justice; put reason astride of a barb-wire fence; and prevent a witness from keeping his oath to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. And a fat fee would always reanimate any flagging zeal I might have as to the justice of my client’s cause. ¶ As for the pulpit, I would take it now, were it not so securely fastened down—hypocrisy, gush, glibness, Chicago Tongue,—yes, let Billy Sunday look to his laurels! I, too, could tear a passion to tatters and make the judicious grieve. I could hypnotize myself into a belief that souls were “lost,” like collar-buttons under a bureau, and I was the one man to rescue them ❦ Sure! Especially am I qualified for making Pastoral Calls—or I was once. Also, I have great capacity for chicken-pie, pretense, cheap social honors, and the applause of the unthinking. As a Churchman, reversed haberdashery would have done me proud; breeks would become me, for my shanks have individuality; and a dinky hat would set off my sky-piece in a way not only to arouse curiosity but mirth. Let Dean Hart beware—his job is not so secure as he thinks! ¶ Doctor Samuel Johnson was for a time a member of Parliament in the capacity of cub reporter. One certain speech he reported, and when the gentleman who had made the speech read the report he didn’t exactly recognize it. So he went to Johnson and said, “Look ’ere, young feller, I didn’t say that.” “Certainly not,” said Johnson, “certainly not; but that is what you should have said!” ❦ In recounting his reportorial experiences, Johnson was once asked this question: “What kind of men are there in the House of Commons?” And Johnson replied, “Take the first fifty men you find walking up Fleet Street.” Johnson knew that all men, regardless of their condition in life, are, at heart, very much alike. ¶ And when Fate has flung a man into a certain situation, the man will, if it is a place of some honor, give himself all the credit for having attained it. If it is a position that perhaps carries no honor, the party will always blame some one else for putting him there. We credit ourselves for our successes; we blame others for our faults. Also, we justify ourselves in everything we do ❦ And wise men see plainly that this self-justification is a part of Nature’s great law of self-preservation. The exaggerated Ego is a primal necessity. Good men all and everywhere multiply the value of their work by ten. ¶ Success in life consists in convincing yourself that you are the whole cheese, and then getting the world to accept your view. Rostand’s rooster was fully assured in his own mind that the sun would not come up if he did not crow. The hens being told this by the