The Physiology of Marriage, CompleteBalzac, Honoré de
General
The Physiology of Marriage, Complete
Balzac, Honoré de
Marriage -- Humor
Let us suppose more people to be fortunate than actually are so. Let
us divide this million into parts; five hundred thousand domestic
establishments will have an income ranging from a hundred to three
thousand francs, and five thousand women will fulfill the conditions
which entitle them to be called honest women.
After these observations, which close our meditation on statistics, we
are entitled to cut out of this number one hundred thousand individuals;
consequently we can consider it to be proven mathematically that there
exist in France no more than four hundred thousand women who can furnish
to men of refinement the exquisite and exalted enjoyments which they
look for in love.
And here it is fitting to make a remark to the adepts for whom we write,
that love does not consist in a series of eager conversations, of nights
of pleasure, of an occasional caress more or less well-timed and a spark
of _amour-propre_ baptized by the name of jealousy. Our four hundred
thousand women are not of those concerning whom it may be said, “The
most beautiful girl in the world can give only what she has.” No,
they are richly endowed with treasures which appeal to our ardent
imaginations, they know how to sell dear that which they do not possess,
in order to compensate for the vulgarity of that which they give.
Do we feel more pleasure in kissing the glove of a grisette than in
draining the five minutes of pleasure which all women offer to us?
Is it the conversation of a shop-girl which makes you expect boundless
delights?
In your intercourse with a woman who is beneath you, the delight of
flattered _amour-propre_ is on her side. You are not in the secret of
the happiness which you give.
In a case of a woman above you, either in fortune or social position,
the ticklings of vanity are not only intense, but are equally shared.
A man can never raise his mistress to his own level; but a woman always
puts her lover in the position that she herself occupies. “I can make
princes and you can make nothing but bastards,” is an answer sparkling
with truth.
If love is the first of passions, it is because it flatters all the
rest of them at the same time. We love with more or less intensity in
proportion to the number of chords which are touched by the fingers of a
beautiful mistress.
Biren, the jeweler’s son, climbing into the bed of the Duchesse de
Courlande and helping her to sign an agreement that he should be
proclaimed sovereign of the country, as he was already of the young and
beautiful queen, is an example of the happiness which ought to be given
to their lovers by our four hundred thousand women.
If a man would have the right to make stepping-stones of all the heads
which crowd a drawing-room, he must be the lover of some artistic woman
of fashion. Now we all love more or less to be at the top.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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