The Physiology of Marriage, Part 2Balzac, Honoré de
General
The Physiology of Marriage, Part 2
Balzac, Honoré de
Marriage -- Humor
The count remained. Without paying any attention to the awkwardness
which had succeeded the former military aplomb of his nephew, the
count exercised during the whole evening his full powers as a charming
conversationalist. I had never before seen him so brilliant or so
gracious. We spoke a great deal about women. The witticisms of our
host were marked by the most exquisite refinement. He made me forget
that his hair was white, for he showed the brilliancy which belonged
to a youthful heart, a gaiety which effaces the wrinkles from the
cheek and melts the snow of wintry age.
The next day the nephew went away. Even after the death of M. de Noce,
I tried to profit by the intimacy of those familiar conversations in
which women are sometimes caught off their guard to sound her, but I
could never learn what impertinence the viscount had exhibited towards
his aunt. His insolence must have been excessive, for since that time
Madame de Noce has refused to see her nephew, and up to the present
moment never hears him named without a slight movement of her
eyebrows. I did not at once guess the end at which the Comte de Noce
aimed, in inviting us to go shooting; but I discovered later that he
had played a pretty bold game.
Nevertheless, if you happen at last, like M. de Noce, to carry off a
decisive victory, do not forget to put into practice at once the
system of blisters; and do not for a moment imagine that such _tours
de force_ are to be repeated with safety. If that is the way you use
your talents, you will end by losing caste in your wife's estimation;
for she will demand of you, reasonably enough, double what you would
give her, and the time will come when you declare bankruptcy. The
human soul in its desires follows a sort of arithmetical progression,
the end and origin of which are equally unknown. Just as the
opium-eater must constantly increase his doses in order to obtain the
same result, so our mind, imperious as it is weak, desires that
feeling, ideas and objects should go on ever increasing in size and in
intensity. Hence the necessity of cleverly distributing the interest
in a dramatic work, and of graduating doses in medicine. Thus you see,
if you always resort to the employment of means like these, that you
must accommodate such daring measures to many circumstances, and
success will always depend upon the motives to which you appeal.
And finally, have you influence, powerful friends, an important post?
The last means I shall suggest cuts to the root of the evil. Would you
have the power to send your wife's lover off by securing his
promotion, or his change of residence by an exchange, if he is a
military man? You cut off by this means all communication between
them; later on we will show you how to do it; for _sublata causa
tollitur effectus_,--Latin words which may be freely translated "there
is no effect without a cause."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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