Concerning his coats, I reasoned with him; but with no effect.
The truth was, I suppose, that a man with so small an income could not
afford to sport such a lustrous face and a lustrous coat at one and the
same time. As Nippers once observed, Turkey’s money went chiefly for
red ink. One winter day, I presented Turkey with a highly
respectable-looking coat of my own—a padded gray coat, of a most
comfortable warmth, and which buttoned straight up from the knee to the
neck. I thought Turkey would appreciate the favor, and abate his
rashness and obstreperousness of afternoons. But no; I verily believe
that buttoning himself up in so downy and blanket-like a coat had a
pernicious effect upon him—upon the same principle that too much oats
are bad for horses. In fact, precisely as a rash, restive horse is said
to feel his oats, so Turkey felt his coat. It made him insolent. He was
a man whom prosperity harmed.
Though, concerning the self-indulgent habits of Turkey, I had my own
private surmises, yet, touching Nippers, I was well persuaded that,
whatever might be his faults in other respects, he was, at least, a
temperate young man. But, indeed, nature herself seemed to have been
his vintner, and, at his birth, charged him so thoroughly with an
irritable, brandy-like disposition, that all subsequent potations were
needless. When I consider how, amid the stillness of my chambers,
Nippers would sometimes impatiently rise from his seat, and stooping
over his table, spread his arms wide apart, seize the whole desk, and
move it, and jerk it, with a grim, grinding motion on the floor, as if
the table were a perverse voluntary agent, intent on thwarting and
vexing him, I plainly perceive that, for Nippers, brandy-and-water were
altogether superfluous.
It was fortunate for me that, owing to its peculiar
cause—indigestion—the irritability and consequent nervousness of
Nippers were mainly observable in the morning, while in the afternoon
he was comparatively mild. So that, Turkey’s paroxysms only coming on
about twelve o’clock, I never had to do with their eccentricities at
one time. Their fits relieved each other, like guards. When Nippers’s
was on, Turkey’s was off; and _vice versa_. This was a good natural
arrangement, under the circumstances.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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