The Piccinino, Volume 2 (of 2); The last of AldinisSand, George
General
The Piccinino, Volume 2 (of 2); The last of Aldinis
Sand, George
French fiction -- Translations into English
"I will tell you, signora. You are the heiress of a noble and
illustrious family. You have been brought up to respect your ancestors
and to believe that antiquity and splendor of race are all that there is
in life. I am a poor devil without a past, a nobody, who have made
myself what I am. And yet I believe that one man is as good as another,
and I do not consider myself any man's inferior. Now, it is clear that
you would not marry me. Everything would forbid it, your principles,
your habits, your position in life. You, who have refused patricians
because their families were not noble enough, would be less able and
less likely than any other woman to stoop to a paltry actor like myself.
From princess to player is a long way, signora. So I cannot be your
husband. What is left for me? The prospect of a mutual passion,
wretchedly unhappy if it were never gratified, or the hope of being your
lover for a time. I cannot accept either, signora. To live together,
overflowing with a passion always intense and never allayed, to love
each other in fear and trembling, and to distrust ourselves as well as
each other, is to subject ourselves voluntarily to suffering that would
be intolerable because it would be senseless, hopeless, and aimless. Nor
would I, even if I could, possess you as a lover. My happiness would be
assailed by anxiety from too many sources to be at all complete. On the
one hand, I should always be afraid of compromising your good name; I
could not sleep with the dread of being the cause of great misery to
you, or of your utter ruin; during the day I should pass long hours
looking out for accidents which might bring misery upon you and
consequently upon me, and at night I should waste the time that we were
together in trembling at the fall of a leaf or at the cry of a bird.
Everything would be a source of alarm to me. And why should I thus toss
my life to a multitude of empty phantoms, to be consumed? for a
love-affair of which I could never foresee the duration and which would
afford no compensation for the uncertainties of to-day in a sense of
security for the morrow; for sooner or later, signora,--I must say it
frankly--you would marry. And you would marry a man of noble birth and
of great wealth like yourself. It would cost you a bitter pang, I know;
I know that you have a generous and sincere heart; you would desire most
earnestly to remain faithful to me, and your heart would rebel at the
thought of uttering a word which would put an end to all my happiness
surely, if not to my life. But the constant assaults of your family, the
very necessity of preserving your reputation, would drive you to take
that course in spite of yourself. You would struggle a long while, no
doubt, and vigorously. Your love for me would still be gentle and
tender, but less effusive; and I, witnessing your grief, as I am not the
man to accept long and painful sacrifices without returning them in
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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