CHR. Yes, but with much shame and detestation: "Truly, if I had been mindful of that country from whence I came out, I might have had opportunity to have returned; but now I desire a better country, that is, an heavenly." [Heb. 11:15,16] PRUD. Do you not yet bear away with you some of the things that then you were conversant withal? CHR. Yes, but greatly against my will; especially my inward and carnal cogitations, with which all my countrymen, as well as myself, were delighted; but now all those things are my grief; and might I but choose mine own things, Christian's choice I would choose never to think of those things more; but when I would be doing of that which is best, that which is worst is with me. [Rom 7:16-19] {123} PRUD. Do you not find sometimes, as if those things were vanquished, which at other times are your perplexity? Christian's golden hours CHR. Yes, but that is seldom; but they are to me golden hours in which such things happen to me. PRUD. Can you remember by what means you find your annoyances, at times, as if they were vanquished? CHR. Yes, when I think what I saw at the cross, that will do it; and when I look upon my broidered coat, that will do it; also when I look into the roll that I carry in my bosom, that will do it; and when my thoughts wax warm about whither I am going, that will do it. {124} PRUD. And what is it that makes you so desirous to go to Mount Zion? CHR. Why, there I hope to see him alive that did hang dead on the cross; and there I hope to be rid of all those things that to this day are in me an annoyance to me; there, they say, there is no death; and there I shall dwell with such company as I like best. [Isa. 25:8; Rev. 21:4] For, to tell you truth, I love him, because I was by him eased of my burden; and I am weary of my inward sickness. I would fain be where I shall die no more, and with the company that shall continually cry, "Holy, Holy, Holy!" {125} Then said Charity to Christian, Have you a family? Are you a married man? CHR. I have a wife and four small children. CHAR. And why did you not bring them along with you? Christian's love to his wife and children CHR. Then Christian wept, and said, Oh, how willingly would I have done it! but they were all of them utterly averse to my going on pilgrimage. CHAR. But you should have talked to them, and have endeavoured to have shown them the danger of being behind. CHR. So I did; and told them also of what God had shown to me of the destruction of our city; "but I seemed to them as one that mocked", and they believed me not. [Gen. 19:14] CHAR. And did you pray to God that he would bless your counsel to them? CHR. Yes, and that with much affection: for you must think that my wife and poor children were very dear unto me. CHAR. But did you tell them of your own sorrow, and fear of destruction? for I suppose that destruction was visible enough to you. Christian's fears of perishing might be read in his very countenance