"Yes," he said numbly. "Must get amputation." But it didn't seem
urgent. He felt he should get some rest first.
"It's too bad you can't allow the operation," the girl said sweetly.
"You can't allow lives to be destroyed just to save your own
personality."
"What lives?" he demanded.
"All the cells and microorganisms in your toes," Julie told him. "You
know they'll _die_ if you are operated on. Are they any worse than the
little bacteria you refused to murder? I suppose it's just as well that
you die. How can you stand it on your conscience to breathe all the
time and burn up innocent germs in your foul breath?"
Danniels understood. To live was to kill.
Every instant he lived his old cells were dying and new ones being
born. So Danniels, who thought he could not kill any living thing,
finally accepted himself as a killer. It wasn't human life he was
taking ... but it was life.
If he could be wrong about taking any life at all--and he had always
believed himself unable to kill anything--he might be wrong about being
able to kill men. In spite of everything he had been taught and what he
believed about the influence of the Broadcasters.
He studied Joel in the gloom. The man represented everything he
loathed--stupidity, brutality, the mob. If I can kill anyone, he told
himself, it should be Joel.
He could try. Yes, he could. And that was a victory in itself.
He moved, and that was another triumph over the physical defeat that
was already upon him.
Joel looked up, narrow eyes widened, as Danniels came down on him.
* * * * *
Danniels caught him in the stomach with the flat of his palm and shoved
up.
Joel gargled in the back of his throat and rammed his thumbs for the
prisoner's eyes. Danniels nodded and caught the balls of the thumbs on
his forehead. He brought his fist up sharply and hit Joel on the point
of the chin. His head snapped but righted itself slowly. He lashed into
Danniels' body with both eager hands and Danniels, weakened, went down
before he had time to think about it.
From the crazy angle of the floor he saw far above him Joel's lips curl
back and closer, further down, a shoe was lifted to kick. It was aimed
at Danniels' swollen foot.
Danniels smiled. He shouldn't have done that. If he had acted like a
man instead of an animal he would have been fine. But now ... Danniels
rolled over quickly against the one leg of Joel's firmly on the floor.
Off balance, Joel fell backwards with a curse, the back of his skull
ringing against the side of one of the bombs.
Exertion was painting red lines across his vision but Danniels climbed
to his knees, put his hands to Joel's corded throat and squeezed.
Yes. He knew he could kill. A few more seconds and he would be dead.
Danniels stopped.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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