Love -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Having exhausted the interests of the town, they spent the time in long
drives to the places she expressed a wish to see in the country; an
occupation not pre-eminently adapted to an evasive relationship.
On the fourth morning she said to him, simply:
"I can't stand it any more. You must go."
"Have I been a brute?" he asked.
"No," she said; "you've been extremely nice. Perhaps that's why. I
don't know: I've tried not to know. Perhaps I may feel differently
when I meet you again. I can't say. I daresay not. But I can't go on
as we are. You don't mind my asking, do you? I don't think you wanted
to stay. Why should you? I can make up something to Henry about your
going: there's always the telegraph to account for things. And don't
write, please, unless I ask you to. I'm going to try to forget you--if
I can. What's the use of doing anything else? I've been a fool enough
as it is."
There was in Caragh's eye the remembrance of days when it seemed as if
that desired oblivion would be his to seek, days when his devotion had
appeared to be quite obliterated from her memory by the surprising
splendour of some one else.
That was, of course, the last thing of which he could remind her, but
it was, too, the last he could forget.
He had accepted the real misery of those days without murmuring; at
least he might use their ancient poison as an anodyne now. Not to
excuse, nor to exalt himself, but to dilute, as it were, now that he
had to drink it, the cup of her indignation.
It made the sour of that seem, at least, not quite so much of his own
mixing to remember that, twice at least in the last two years, he might
have drifted from her on occasions when her attention was too engrossed
by another to notice that he was gone.
He would have liked in the friendliest fashion to have led her memory
to those days, to show her how dispensable he was; only, he reflected
one never knew how a woman would take that sort of consolation: he was
not very sure if he would value it himself.
And when it came to his good-byes, he felt anything but fitted for the
consoler's office. He had come to Pest bitterly grieved to lose a
friend; but he left it like a baffled lover.
The shy strangeness of her manner and the proud distance in her eyes
had brought again about Ethel Vernon the glamour of days when his heart
beat quicker at her approach.
With every hour of indifference the old provocation in her presence
grew. He felt that to stay would be but to yield to it again, and he
heard with a dismal relief her sentence of exile.
He set himself rigidly to pack his things, yet where to go he could not
determine. That invisible bond which tied him to the future made all
the difference to a man's plans. The East beckoned--he was half way to
it--and the green harbours of the Asian coast.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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