He said wearily, "I'm not going to--to turn into a bat and fly away. I'm just a poor devil of a doctor who's gotten himself into one unholy mess." There was no reason, he was thinking, to take out his own misery and despair by shouting at this poor kid. God knew what she'd been through with his irresponsible other self--Forth had admitted that that damned "Jason" personality was a blend of all the undesirable traits he'd fought to smother all his life. By an effort of will he kept himself from pulling away from her hand on his shoulder. "Jason, don't--slip away like that! _Think!_ Try to keep hold on _yourself_!" Jay propped his head in his hands, trying to make sense of that. Certainly in the dim light she could not be too conscious of subtle changes of expression. She evidently thought she was talking to Jason. She didn't seem to be overly intelligent. "Think about tomorrow, Jason. What are you going to say to him? Think about your parents--" Jay Allison wondered what they would think when they found a stranger here. He felt like a stranger. Yet he must have come, tonight, into this house and spoken--he rummaged desperately in his mind for some fragments of the trailmen's language. He had spoken it as a child. He must recall enough to speak to the woman who had been a kind foster-mother to her alien son. He tried to form his lips to the unfamiliar shapes of words... Jay covered his face with his hands again. Jason was the part of himself that remembered the trailmen. _That_ was what he had to remember--Jason was not a hostile stranger, not an alien intruder in his body. Jason was a lost part of himself and at the moment a damn necessary part. If there were only some way to get back the Jason memories, skills, without losing _himself_ ... he said to the girl, "Let me think. Let me--" to his surprise and horror his voice broke into an alien tongue, "Let me alone, will you?" Maybe, Jay thought, I could stay myself if I could remember the rest. Dr. Forth said: Jason would remember the trailmen with kindness, not dislike. Jay searched his memory and found nothing but familiar frustration; years spent in an alien land, apart from a human heritage, stranded and abandoned. _My father left me. He crashed the plane and I never saw him again and I hate him for leaving me ..._ But his father had not abandoned him. He had crashed the plane trying to save them both. It was no one's fault-- _Except my father's. For trying to fly over the Hellers into a country where no man belongs ..._ He hadn't belonged. And yet the trailmen, whom he considered little better than roaming beasts, had taken the alien child into their city, their homes, their hearts. They had loved him. And he ... * * * * * "And I loved them," I found myself saying half aloud, then realized that Kyla was gripping my arm, looking up imploringly into my face. I shook my head rather groggily. "What's the matter?"