The Plays of W. E. Henley and R. L. StevensonStevenson, Robert Louis
General
The Plays of W. E. Henley and R. L. Stevenson
Stevenson, Robert Louis
Drama
HUNT (_to_ JEAN). I can’t waste time on you, my girl. It’s now or
never. Will you turn king’s evidence?
JEAN. I think ye’ll have made a mistake, like.
HUNT. Well, I’m . . . ! (_Separating them_.) [No, not yet; don’t push
me.] George’s turn now. (_To_ GEORGE.) George, I’ve a warrant in my
pocket.
SMITH. As per usual, Jerry?
HUNT. Now I want king’s evidence.
SMITH. Ah! so you came a cropper with _her_, Jerry. Pride had a fall.
HUNT. A free pardon and fifty shiners down.
SMITH. A free pardon, Jerry?
HUNT. Don’t I tell you so?
SMITH. And fifty down? fifty?
HUNT. On the nail.
SMITH. So you came a cropper with her, and then you tried it on with me?
HUNT. I suppose you mean you’re a born idiot?
SMITH. What I mean is, Jerry, that you’ve broke my heart. I used to
look up to you like a party might to Julius Cæsar. One more of boyhood’s
dreams gone pop. (_Enter_ MOORE, _L._)
HUNT (_to both_). Come, then, I’ll take the pair, and be damned to you.
Free pardon to both, fifty down and the Deacon out of the way. I don’t
care for you commoners, it’s the Deacon I want.
JEAN (_looking off stolidly_). I think the kirks are scalin’. There
seems to be mair people in the streets.
HUNT. O that’s the way, is it? Do you know that I can hang you, my
woman, and your fancy man a well?
JEAN. I daur say ye would like fine, Mr. Hunt; and here’s my service to
you. (_Going_.)
HUNT. George, don’t you be a tomfool, anyway. Think of the blowen here,
and have brains for two.
SMITH (_going_). Ah, Jerry, if you knew anything, how different you
would talk! (_They go together_, _R._)
SCENE III
HUNT, MOORE
HUNT. Half a tick, Badger. You’re a man of parts, you are; you’re
solid, you’re a true-born Englishman; you ain’t a Jerry-go-Nimble like
him. Do you know what your pal the Deacon’s worth to you? Fifty golden
Georges and a free pardon. No questions asked, and no receipts demanded.
What do you say? Is it a deal?
MOORE (_as to himself_). Muck. (_He goes out_, _R._)
SCENE IV
HUNT, _to whom_ AINSLIE
HUNT (_looking after them ruefully_). And these were the very parties I
was looking for! [Ah, Jerry, Jerry, if they knew this at the office!]
Well, the market price of that ’ere two hundred is a trifle on the
decline and fall. (_Looking L._) Hullo! (_Slapping his thigh_). Send
me victorious! It’s king’s evidence on two legs. (_Advancing with great
cordiality to meet_ AINSLIE, _who enters L._) And so your name’s Andrew
Ainslie, is it? As I was saying, you’re the very party I was looking
for. Ain’t it strange, now, that I should have dropped across you
comfortable and promiscuous like this?
AINSLIE. I dinna ken wha ye are, an’ I’m ill for my bed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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