The Poems and Prose of Ernest Dowson, With a Memoir by Arthur SymonsDowson, Ernest Christopher
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The Poems and Prose of Ernest Dowson, With a Memoir by Arthur Symons
Dowson, Ernest Christopher
Authors, English; English poetry
'So I have heard,' he said, 'but that was long ago. I have only had it
a few years. Fontaine my landlord bought it from them. Did you know M.
le Comte!'
'No,' I answered, 'Madame la Comtesse. She was left a widow very
shortly after her marriage. I never knew M. le Comte.'
My host shrugged his shoulders.
'From all accounts,' he said, 'you did not lose very much.'
'It was an unhappy marriage,' I remarked, vaguely, 'most unhappy. Her
second marriage promised greater felicity.'
Mr. Venables looked at me curiously.
'I understood,' he began, but he broke off abruptly. 'I did not know
Madame de Savaresse married again.'
His tone had suddenly changed, it had grown less cordial, and we
parted shortly afterwards with a certain constraint. And as I walked
home pensively curious, his interrupted sentence puzzled me. Does he
look upon me as an impostor, a vulgar gossip-monger? What has he
heard, what does he know of her? Does he know anything? I cannot help
believing so. I almost wish I had asked him definitely, but he would
have misunderstood my motives. Yet, even so, I wish I had asked him.
_6th October._
I am still living constantly in the past, and the fantastic feeling,
whenever I enter a church or turn a corner that I shall meet Lorimer
again, has grown into a settled conviction. Yes, I shall meet him, and
in Bruges.... It is strange how an episode which one has thrust away
out of sight and forgotten for years will be started back into renewed
life by the merest trifle. And for the last week it has all been as
vivid as if it happened yesterday. To-night I have been putting
questions to myself--so far with no very satisfactory answer. _Was_ it
a boyish infatuation after all? Has it passed away as utterly as I
believed? I can see her face now as I sit by the fire with the finest
precision of detail. I can hear her voice, that soft, low voice, which
was none the less sweet for its modulation of sadness. I think there
are no women like her now-a-days--none, none! _Did_ she marry Lorimer?
and if not--? It seems strange now that we should have both been so
attracted, and yet not strange when one considers it. At least we were
never jealous of one another. How the details rush back upon one! I
think we must have fallen in love with her at the same moment--for we
were together when we saw her for the first time, we were together
when we went first to call on her in the Rue d'Alva--I doubt if we
ever saw her except together. It was soon after we began to get
intimate that she wore white again. She told us that we had given her
back her youth. She joined our sketching expeditions with the most
supreme contempt for _les convenances_; when she was not fluttering
round, passing from Lorimer's canvas to mine with her sweetly
inconsequent criticism, she sat in the long grass and read to
us--André Chénier and Lamartine. In the evening we went to see her;
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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