The Poems and Prose of Ernest Dowson, With a Memoir by Arthur SymonsDowson, Ernest Christopher
General
The Poems and Prose of Ernest Dowson, With a Memoir by Arthur Symons
Dowson, Ernest Christopher
Authors, English; English poetry
Tregellan threw away the stump of his cigar into the darkling street,
with a little gesture of discouragement, of lassitude.
'She has had the chance to become what she is, a perfect thing.'
'My dear fellow,' exclaimed his friend, 'I could not have said more
myself.'
The other continued, ignoring his interruption.
'She has had great luck. She has been brought up by an old eccentric,
on the English system of growing up as she liked. And no harm has come
of it, at least until it gave you the occasion of making love to her.'
'You are candid, Tregellan!'
'Let her go, Sebastian, let her go,' he continued, with increasing
gravity. 'Consider what a transplantation; from this world of
Ploumariel where everything is fixed for her by that venerable old
_Curé_, where life is so easy, so ordered, to yours, ours; a world
without definitions, where everything is an open question.'
'Exactly,' said the artist, 'why should she be so limited? I would
give her scope, ideas. I can't see that I am wrong.'
'She will not accept them, your ideas. They will trouble her, terrify
her; in the end, divide you. It is not an elastic nature. I have
watched it.'
'At least, allow me to know her,' put in the artist, a little grimly.
Tregellan shook his head.
'The Breton blood; her English mother: passionate Catholicism! a touch
of Puritan! Have you quite made up your mind, Sebastian?'
'I made it up long ago, Tregellan!'
The other looked at him, curiously, compassionately; with a touch of
resentment at what he found his lack of subtilty. Then he said at
last:
'I called it impossible; you force me to be very explicit, even cruel.
I must remind you, that you are, of all my friends, the one I value
most, could least afford to lose.'
'You must be going to say something extremely disagreeable! something
horrible,' said the artist, slowly.
'I am,' said Tregellan, 'but I must say it. Have you explained to
Mademoiselle, or her uncle, your--your peculiar position?'
Sebastian was silent for a moment, frowning: the lines about his mouth
grew a little sterner; at last he said coldly:
'If I were to answer, Yes?'
'Then I should understand that there was no further question of your
marriage.'
Presently the other commenced in a hard, leaden voice.
'No, I have not told Marie-Yvonne that. I shall not tell her. I have
suffered enough for a youthful folly; an act of mad generosity. I
refuse to allow an infamous woman to wreck my future life as she has
disgraced my past. Legally, she has passed out of it; morally,
legally, she is not my wife. For all I know she may be actually dead.'
The other was watching his face, very gray and old now, with an
anxious compassion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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