The Poetical Works of John Skelton, Volume 1 (of 2)Skelton, John
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The Poetical Works of John Skelton, Volume 1 (of 2)
Skelton, John
English poetry -- Early modern, 1500-1700
As Skelton ryd into yᵉ countre, there was a frere that hapened in at an
alehouse wheras Skelton was lodged, and there the frere dyd desire to
haue lodgyng. The alewife sayd, Syr, I haue but one bed whereas master
Skelton doth lye. Syr, sayd the frere, I pray you that I maye lye with
you. Skelton said, Master freere, I doo vse to haue no man to lye with
me. Sir, sayd the frere, I haue lyne with as good men as you, and for my
money I doo looke to haue lodgynge as well as you. Well, sayde Skelton,
I dooe see than that you wyll lye with me. Yea, syr, sayd the frere.
Skelton did fill all the cuppes in the house, and whitled the frere, that
at the last, the frere was in myne eames peason. Then sayde Skelton,
Mayster freere, get you to bed, and I wyll come to bed within a while.
The frere went, and dyd lye vpright, and snorted lyke a sowe. Skelton
wente to the chaumber, and dyd see that the freere dyd lye soe; sayd to
the wyfe, Geue me a washyng betle. Skelton then caste downe the clothes,
and the freere dyd lye starke naked: then Skelton dyd shite vpon the
freeres nauil and bellye; and then he did take the washyng betle, and
dyd strike an harde stroke vppon the nauill & bellye of the freere, and
dyd put out the candell, and went out of the chaumber. The freere felt
hys bellye, & smelt a foule sauour, had thought hee had ben gored, and
cried out and sayde, Helpe, helpe, helpe, I am kylled! They of the house
with Skelton wente into the chaumber, and asked what the freere dyd ayle.
The freere sayde, I am kylled, one hathe thrust me in the bellye. Fo,
sayde Skelton, thou dronken soule, thou doost lye; thou haste beshytten
thyselfe. Fo, sayde Skelton, let vs goe oute of the chaumber, for the
knaue doothe stynke. The freere was ashamed, and cryed for water. Out
with the whoreson, sayd Skelton, and wrap the sheetes togyther, and putte
the freere in the hogge stye, or in the barne. The freere said, geue me
some water into the barne: and there the freere dyd wasshe himselfe,
and dydde lye there all the nyght longe. The chaumber and the bedde was
dressed, and the sheetes shyfted; and then Skelton went to bed.
¶ Howe the cardynall desyred Skelton to make an epitaphe vpon his graue.
Tale x.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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