The Politeness of Princes, and Other School Stories — John Shaqi
The Politeness of Princes, and Other School StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Politeness of Princes, and Other School Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Schools -- Fiction
He started.
"What's up?" said Linton.
"Oh, nothing. I was only thinking of something."
They walked on without further conversation. Dunstable's brain was
working fast. He had an idea, and was busy developing it.
* * * * *
The manager of the Wrykyn Branch of Ring's Come-one Come-all Stores
stood at the entrance to his shop on the following afternoon spitting
with energy and precision on to the pavement--he was a free-born
American citizen--and eyeing the High Street as a monarch might gaze
at his kingdom. He had just completed a highly satisfactory report to
headquarters, and was feeling contented with the universe, and the way
in which it was managed. Even in the short time since the opening of
the store he had managed to wake up the sluggish Britishers as if they
had had an electric shock.
"We," he observed epigrammatically to a passing cat, which had stopped
on its way to look at him, "are it."
As he spoke he perceived a youth coming towards him down the street.
He wore a cap of divers colours, from which the manager argued that
he belonged to the school. Evidently a devotee of the advertised
"public-school" shillingsworth, and one who, as urged by the small
bills, had come early to avoid the rush. "Step right in, mister," he
said, moving aside from the doorway. "And what can I do for _you_?"
"Are you the manager of this place?" asked Dunstable--for the youth
was that strategist, and no other.
"On the bull's eye first time," replied the manager with easy
courtesy. "Will you take a cigar or a cocoa-nut?"
"Can I have a bit of a talk with you, if you aren't busy?"
"Sure. Step right in."
"Now, sir," said the manager, "what's _your_ little trouble?"
"It's about this public school tea business," said Dunstable. "It's
rather a shame, you see. Before you came bargeing in, everybody used
to go to Cook's."
"And now," interrupted the manager, "they come to us. Correct, sir. We
_are_ the main stem. And why not?"
"Cook's such a good sort."
"I should like to know him," said the manager politely.
"You see," said Dunstable, "it doesn't so much matter about the other
things you sell; but Cook's simply relies on giving fellows tea in the
afternoon----"
"One moment, sir," said the man from the States. "Let me remind you of
a little rule which will be useful to you when you butt into the big,
cold world. That is, never let sentiment interfere with business. See?
Either Ring's Stores or your friend has got to be on top, and, if I
know anything, it's going to be We. We! And I'm afraid that's all I
can do for you, unless you've that hungry feeling, and want to sample
our public-school tea at twenty-five cents."
"No, thanks," said Dunstable. "Here come some chaps, though, who look
as if they might."
He stepped aside as half a dozen School House juniors raced up.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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