The Politeness of Princes, and Other School StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Politeness of Princes, and Other School Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Schools -- Fiction
"Scratch!" said Clephane. "Don't you wish we would! My good chap,
we're going to get the cup."
"You needn't be a funny ass," said Henfrey in his complaining voice,
"we really are awfully pushed. As it is we shall have to settle the
opening rounds on the first innings. That's to say, we can only give
'em a day each; if they don't finish, the winner of the first innings
wins. You might as well scratch."
"I can't help your troubles. By rotten mismanagement you have got the
house-matches crowded up into the last ten days of term, and you come
and expect me to sell a fine side like Shields' to get you out of the
consequences of your reckless act. My word, Henfrey, you've sunk
pretty low. Nice young fellow Henfrey was at one time, but seems to
have got among bad companions. Quite changed now. Avoid him as much as
I can. Leave me, Henfrey, I would be alone."
"But you can't raise a team."
"Raise a team! Do you happen to know that half the house is
_biting_ itself with agony because we can't find room for all?
Shields gives stump-cricket _soirées_ in his study after prep.
One every time you hit the ball, two into the bowl of goldfish, and
out if you smash the microscope."
"Well," said Henfrey viciously, "if you want to go through the farce
of playing one round and making idiots of yourselves, you'll have to
wait a bit. You've got a bye in the first round."
Clephane told the news to Mansfield after tea. "I've been and let the
house in for a rollicking time," he said, abstracting the copy of
Latin verses which his friend was doing, and sitting on them to ensure
undivided attention to his words. "Wanting to score off old Henfrey--I
have few pleasures--I told him that Shields' was not going to scratch.
So we are booked to play in the second round of the housers. We drew a
bye for the first. It would be an awful rag if we could do something.
We _must_ raise a team of some sort. Henfrey would score so if we
didn't. Who's there, d'you think, that can play?"
Mansfield considered the question thoughtfully. "They all _play_,
I suppose," he said slowly, "if you can call it playing. What I mean
to say is, cricket's compulsory here, so I suppose they've all had an
innings or two at one time or another in the eightieth game or so. But
if you want record-breakers, I shouldn't trust to Shields' too much."
"Not a bit. So long as we put a full team into the field, that's all I
care about. I've often wondered what it's like to go in first and bowl
unchanged the whole time."
"You'll do that all right," said Mansfield. "I should think Shields'
bowling ran to slow grubs, to judge from the look of 'em. You'd better
go and see Wilkins about raising the team. As head of the house, he
probably considers himself captain of cricket."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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