MARIA. If I can with propriety consent to anything you may propose, I will, sir;--but I hope you do not think either your or your son's _money_ will tempt me. LOVEYET. No, madam,--that is to say, I dare say it will not tempt you to do anything that is wrong;--but money is a tempting thing too,--though not quite so tempting as Miss Maria.--Hem, hem.--There was a delicate compliment for her! [_Aside._ MARIA. Mercy on me! What can the ugly old mortal mean! It cannot be possible he would have the vanity to propose his odious self. [_Aside._ LOVEYET. You must know, madam, my son has lately arrived from the West-Indies-- MARIA. Really?--You rejoice me, sir.--Happy, happy Harriet! LOVEYET. Not so happy as you imagine, madam; for she is not to have my son, I assure you; I intend a lady of greater beauty and merit for him, who is not very far from me now,--provided she and her father have no objection.--There I put it home to her [_Aside._]. Ugh, ugh. MARIA. I fear there is something in this rumour about Harriet. [_Aside._ LOVEYET. Come, shall it be so, eigh?--Well, silence gives consent.--I know you can't have any particular objection. I must have you for a--Ugh, ugh, uh. MARIA. I must humour this joke a little. [_Aside._]--The honour you wish to confer on me, is so great, Mr. Loveyet, that I want words to express a suitable acknowledgment;--but what will the world say, when a gentleman of Mr. Loveyet's sedateness and experience stoops to a giddy girl like me? LOVEYET. By my body, she thinks I want to have her myself.--Why, what a lucky young dog I am! I wish old Trueman was here now;--'ods my heart, and my life, and my--ugh, ugh,--but I must talk the matter over coolly with her. Hem, hem. [_Aside._]--Oh, you dear little charming, angelic creature;--I love you so much, I cou'd find in my heart to--'Zounds! I cou'd eat you up.--By my body, but you must give me a sweet kiss. [_Offers to kiss her._] 'Sblood! I can't bear it any longer. [_Snatches a kiss._]--Ugh, ugh. MARIA. What a preposterous old dotard! [_Aside._]--You will excuse me, Mr. Loveyet; I have company waiting for me. LOVEYET. By all means, my blossom;--it goes to my very heart to part with you, though;--but go to your company, my love, go, go.--I wou'dn't disoblige you, nor put the least thing in your way, for the seraglio--of the Grand Seignior. You may give up the trunk to my son now, if he calls for it, my love. [_Exit MARIA._] Oh, what a dear creature! Such sweet lips,--such panting, precious, plump, little--oh, I cou'd jump out of my skin at the thoughts of it!--By my body, I must have her, and poor Charles may have Harriet, for all.--A fig for both the Constitutions now, I say; I wou'dn't give my dear little Maria for a score of them. [_Exit._