British -- India -- Fiction; India -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Women -- India -- Fiction
THE POOL IN THE DESERT
By Sara Jeanette Duncan
Contents
1. A Mother in India.
2. An Impossible Ideal.
3. The Hesitation of Miss Anderson.
4. The Pool in the Desert.
1. A Mother in India
Chapter 1.I
There were times when we had to go without puddings to pay John’s
uniform bills, and always I did the facings myself with a cloth-ball to
save getting new ones. I would have polished his sword, too, if I had
been allowed; I adored his sword. And once, I remember, we painted and
varnished our own dog-cart, and very smart it looked, to save fifty
rupees. We had nothing but our pay--John had his company when we were
married, but what is that?--and life was made up of small knowing
economies, much more amusing in recollection than in practise. We were
sodden poor, and that is a fact, poor and conscientious, which was
worse. A big fat spider of a money-lender came one day into the veranda
and tempted us--we lived in a hut, but it had a veranda--and John
threatened to report him to the police. Poor when everybody else had
enough to live in the open-handed Indian fashion, that was what made it
so hard; we were alone in our sordid little ways. When the expectation
of Cecily came to us we made out to be delighted, knowing that the whole
station pitied us, and when Cecily came herself, with a swamping burst
of expense, we kept up the pretense splendidly. She was peevish, poor
little thing, and she threatened convulsions from the beginning, but we
both knew that it was abnormal not to love her a great deal, more than
life, immediately and increasingly; and we applied ourselves honestly to
do it, with the thermometer at a hundred and two, and the nurse leaving
at the end of a fortnight because she discovered that I had only six
of everything for the table. To find out a husband’s virtues, you must
marry a poor man. The regiment was under-officered as usual, and John
had to take parade at daylight quite three times a week; but he walked
up and down the veranda with Cecily constantly till two in the morning,
when a little coolness came. I usually lay awake the rest of the
night in fear that a scorpion would drop from the ceiling on her.
Nevertheless, we were of excellent mind towards Cecily; we were in such
terror, not so much of failing in our duty towards her as towards the
ideal standard of mankind. We were very anxious indeed not to come
short. To be found too small for one’s place in nature would have been
odious. We would talk about her for an hour at a time, even when John’s
charger was threatening glanders and I could see his mind perpetually
wandering to the stable. I would say to John that she had brought a new
element into our lives--she had indeed!--and John would reply, ‘I know
what you mean,’ and go on to prophesy that she would ‘bind us together.’
We didn’t need binding together; we were more to each other, there in
the desolation of that arid frontier outpost, than most husbands and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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