Her neighbours looked on her with some interest, but they rather shunned
than courted her acquaintance; especially after the return of certain
nervous attacks, to which she had been subject in childhood, and which
were again brought on by the events I must relate. It is curious how
certain diseases repel, by a kind of awe, the sympathies of the
neighbours: as if, by the fact of being subject to them, the patient
were removed into another realm of existence, from which, like the dead
with the living, she can hold communion with those around her only
partially, and with a mixture of dread pervading the intercourse. Thus
some of the deepest, purest wells of spiritual life, are, like those in
old castles, choked up by the decay of the outer walls. But what tended
more than anything, perhaps, to keep up the painful unrest of her soul
(for the beauty of her character was evident in the fact that the
irritation seldom reached her _mind_), was a circumstance at which, in
its present connection, some of my readers will smile, and others feel a
shudder corresponding in kind to that of Elsie.
Her brother was very fond of a rather small, but ferocious-looking
bull-dog, which followed close at his heels, wherever he went, with
hanging head and slouching gait, never leaping or racing about like
other dogs. When in the house, he always lay under his master’s chair.
He seemed to dislike Elsie, and she felt an unspeakable repugnance to
him. Though she never mentioned her aversion, her brother easily saw it
by the way in which she avoided the animal; and attributing it entirely
to fear--which indeed had a great share in the matter--he would cruelly
aggravate it, by telling her stories of the fierce hardihood and
relentless persistency of this kind of animal. He dared not yet further
increase her terror by offering to set the creature upon her, because it
was doubtful whether he might be able to restrain him; but the mental
suffering which he occasioned by this heartless conduct, and for which
he had no sympathy, was as severe as many bodily sufferings to which he
would have been sorry to subject her. Whenever the poor girl happened
inadvertently to pass near the dog, which was seldom, a low growl made
her aware of his proximity, and drove her to a quick retreat. He was, in
fact, the animal impersonation of the animal opposition which she had
continually to endure. Like chooses like; and the bulldog _in_ her
brother made choice of the bull-dog _out of_ him for his companion. So
her day was one of shrinking fear and multiform discomfort.
But a nature capable of so much distress, must of necessity be _capable_
of a corresponding amount of pleasure; and in her case this was manifest
in the fact that sleep and the quiet of her own room restored her
wonderfully. If she were only let alone, a calm mood, filled with images
of pleasure, soon took possession of her mind.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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