“Well, I have a fortune of my own, about which I never thought or
cared--till--till--within the last few weeks. Lord Hilton is my
guardian. Whether they made me the stupid creature I _was,_ I do not
know; but I believe they have represented me as far worse than I was, to
keep people from making my acquaintance. They prevented my going on with
my lessons, because they saw I was getting to understand things, and
grow like other people; and that would not suit their purposes. It would
be false delicacy in you to leave me to them, when you can make up to me
for their injustice. Their behaviour to me takes away any right they had
over me, and frees you from any obligation, because I am yours.--Am I
not?”
Once more she covered her face with her hands. I could answer only by
withdrawing one of them, which I _was_ now emboldened to keep in my own.
I was very willingly persuaded to what was so much my own desire. But
whether the reasoning was quite just or not, I am not yet sure. Perhaps
it might be so for her, and yet not for me: I do not know; I am a poor
casuist.
She resumed, laying her other hand upon mine:--
“It would be to tell the soul which you have called forth, to go back
into its dark moaning cavern, and never more come out to the light of
day.”
How could I resist this?
A long pause ensued.
“It is strange,” she said, at length, “to feel, when I lie down at
night, that I may awake in your presence, without knowing how. It is
strange, too, that, although I should be utterly ashamed to come
wittingly, I feel no confusion when I find myself here. When I feel
myself coming awake, I lie for a little while with my eyes closed,
wondering and hoping, and afraid to open them, lest I should find myself
only in my own chamber; shrinking a little, too--just a little--from the
first glance into your face.”
“But when you awake, do you know nothing of what has taken place in your
sleep?”
“Nothing whatever.”
“Have you no vague sensations, no haunting shadows, no dim ghostly
moods, seeming to belong to that condition, left?”
“None whatever.”
She rose, said “Good-night,” and left me.
Chapter XIV
_Jealousy._
Again seven days passed before she revisited me. Indeed, her visits had
always an interval of seven days, or a multiple of seven, between.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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