The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four ActsSinclair, Upton
General
The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four Acts
Sinclair, Upton
Comedy plays
_Belle._ Oh, you poor kid! Why do you stand it?
_Bill._ I ain't goin' to, no more. I told Jack about it, an' he says
fer me to come and stay in his room. Will youse take me in?
_Belle._ Why, sure!
_Bill._ I ain't no dead beat, youse unnerstand. I earn my keep. Look
a here! _(Pulls out a handful of pennies.)_ Ain't much gold in it,
but it makes a good jingle.
_Belle._ How did you get it?
_Bill._ Extry! Extry! Woil'n Join'l! Sun'n Globe! Mail'n Telygram!
_(Looks about.)_ Say, I don't like the housekeepin' in this here
joint.
_Belle._ What's the matter?
_Bill._ A woman ought t'unnerstan'--when a man's been out hustlin'
all day, he wants good, warm, nourishin' food, an' he wants it
quick.
_Belle._ Well, sir, you see, sir, if I'd known exactly what hour
you'd be in, sir! How would a slice of bread strike you?
_Bill._ Hand it out!
_Belle (gives him bread and he stuffs it. She sits on table.)_ Come
here, Bill. You know, it looks nice, having you here. I had a little
brother once.
_Bill._ Youse did?
_Belle._ I used to take care of him. If you're going to be a member
of this family, I'll have to take care of you.
_Bill._ Watcher mean?
_Belle._ I used to wash the smut off his face before each meal.
_Bill (disconcerted)._ Gee! Three times a day? Gawd a'mighty!
_Belle._ I'll pay you for it, Bill.
_Bill._ What'll youse pay?
_Belle._ Well, I wonder. A kid that's had a stepfather to beat him
and no one to love him! _(Puts her arm around him and kisses him
gently on the cheek.)_
_Bill._ Holy smoke! _(Wonder and delight dawn on his face.)_ Say! I
like that!
_Belle._ Then it's a bargain?
_Bill._ Sure! Put it there! _(They shake hands.)_ Does it begin
to-night?
_Belle._ No, I'm too tired to-night. We'll start out fresh in the
morning. You must be tired too, Bill. You'd better go in and sleep.
_(Leads him Right.)_
_Bill._ Say, Belle!
_Belle._ Well?
_Bill._ I like them kisses.
_Belle (clasps him in her arms.)_ Poor little fellow! _(Kisses him
again.)_
_Bill._ Gee, but this is like heaven!
_Belle._ Good-night, Bill.
_Bill._ Good-night. _(Exit, closes door.)_
_Belle (returns, sinks to table with a moan of exhaustion; then
hearing Jack coming, sits up, listens, gets herself together and
pretends to be busy.)_ Hello, Jack.
_Jack (enters)._ Well, Belle?
_Belle._ Did you get any work to-day?
_Jack._ Fine luck to-day. I made a quarter, helping to load a truck.
_Belle._ Is that all?
_Jack._ Better than nothing. How goes it with you, Belle?
_Belle._ Pretty well.
_Jack._ Only pretty well? Isn't the rest doing you good?
_Belle._ Some good, I think, Jack.
_Jack._ Say, Belle! Do you know, I think you were much better after
that imaginary journey we took the other night. Let's take another.
_Belle (looking up with a feeble smile)._ So soon?
_Jack._ I've got some more time-tables.
_Belle._ Where's it to be?
_Jack._ I'm tired of the Europe business. It takes so long, getting
to Switzerland and Egypt. I believe in seeing America first.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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