The Power of Sexual SurrenderRobinson, Marie Nyswander
Science
The Power of Sexual Surrender
Robinson, Marie Nyswander
Frigidity (Psychology); Sex (Psychology); Women -- Sexual behavior
No matter how much a psychiatrist hears about love, its difficulties
and its triumphs, a statement like that always moves one, makes one
feel that tasks and difficulties have been somehow lightened. In short,
I liked him, and this moved me to ask him about himself. “That’s what I
came to tell you about,” he said. “There’s something I thought just may
be of some help.”
What he wanted to tell me was the amazing similarity between his
background and his wife’s, and as he talked on I could see some of
the reasons for his broad sympathy with her problem. They were both
children of farm people and had been reared in the strictest of Puritan
disciplines. They were both the oldest children, and each had had two
brothers and a sister. Their mothers had hated and feared sexuality
and had communicated quite freely to the children their feeling that
it was dirty and wicked. The fathers had been punitive on the one hand
and withdrawn on the other. This young man had broken away from home
as early as possible and so had his wife. They had come to the city,
gotten jobs in the same business, and here they had met.
I will take leave of our young husband now because the above facts
illustrate the question I want you to ask yourself. However, in case
some of my warmth toward him has come over to you, I can tell you that
his marriage had a most happy outcome. His wife, motivated strongly,
I am sure, by the sense of security his love gave her, was able to
resolve her frigidity and the other neurotic problems which invariably
accompany it.
But to the question: With almost identical backgrounds, why had the
wife developed a rather severe frigidity problem and the husband
remained perfectly normal sexually?
If you wish to extend that question you may ask yourself: Why is
frigidity so widespread among women and sexual impotency so rare among
men? We saw that under the adverse conditions caused by the Industrial
Revolution women could, by the millions, abandon sexual gratification,
convince the world and themselves that, biologically speaking, they
were asexual beings. There was never the faintest suspicion that man,
on the other hand, would or could abandon his sexual nature, no matter
how difficult the going became. Men might develop neuroses, they might
even take odd sexual directions, develop perversions, if their parents
were sufficiently neurotic. But abandon sexual gratification en masse,
they could not.
I think we now understand the answer to this problem, and I think
it will be helpful for you to learn what we know about it. You
will be able to see why the problem of frigidity is so basically
_psychological_ in nature, for one thing, and therefore why, when a
woman’s chief complaint is frigidity, we feel that if she really means
business she can get over it.
There are three major reasons why frigidity can develop in women. I am
going to treat two of them here and reserve one of them for the next
chapter.
_The Sexual Drive in Women_
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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