_Demetrius_ before the Curse of Poetry had seiz'd him, was in a pretty way of _Thriving Business_, but having lately sold his Chambers in one of the Inns of Court, and taken a Lodging near the Play-house, is now in a fair way of _Starving_. This Gentleman is frequently possest with Poetick Raptures; and all the Family complains, that he disturbs 'em at Midnight, by reciting some incomparable sublime Fustian of his own Composing. When he is in Bed, one wou'd imagine he might be quiet for that Night, but 'tis quite otherwise with him; for when a new Thought, as he calls it, comes into his Head, up he gets, sets it down in Writing, and so gradually encreases the detested Bulk of his Poetick Fooleries, which, Heaven avert it! he threatens to Print. _Demetrius_ having had the misfortune of miscarrying upon the Stage, endeavours to preserve his unlawful Title to Wit, by bringing all the Dramatick Poets down to his own Level. And wanting Spirit to set up for a Critick, turns _Spy_ and _Informer_ of _Parnassus_. He frequents _Apollo_'s Court at _Will_'s, and picks up the freshest Intelligence, what Plays are upon the Stocks, what ready to be Launch'd; and if he can be inform'd, from the _Establish'd Wits_, of any remarkable Fault in the new Play upon the Bills, he is indefatigably industrious in whispering it about, to bespeak its Damnation before its Representation. * _Curculio_ is a Semi-Wit, that has a great _Veneration_ for the _Moderns_, and no less a _Contempt_ for the _Ancients_: But his own ill Composures destroy the force of his Arguments, and do the Ancients full Justice. This Gentleman having had the good Fortune to write a very taking, _undigested medly of Comedy_ and _Farce_, is so puff'd up with his Success, that nothing will serve him, but he must bring this new _fantastick way of writing_, into Esteem. To compass this Noble Design, he tells you what a Coxcomb _Aristotle_ was with his Rules of the _three Unities_; and what a Company of Senseless Pedants the _Scaligers_, _Rapins_, _Bossu's_, and _Daciers_ are. He proves that _Aristotle_ and _Horace_, knew nothing of _Poetry_; that Common Sense and Nature were not the same in _Athens_, and _Rome_, as they are in _London_; that _Incoherence_, _Irregularity_ and _Nonsense_ are the Chief Perfections of the _Drama_, and, by a necessary Consequence that the _Silent woman_, is below his own Performance.