Patrick Henry Hanway did not follow in the precise footsteps of his
sire. He resolved to make his money by pulling and hauling at
legislation; but the methods should be changed. He would improve upon
his father, and instead of pulling and hauling from the lobby, he would
pull and haul from within. The returns were surer; also it was easier to
knead and mold and bake one's loaf of legislation as a member, with a
seat in Senate or Assembly, than as some unassigned John Smith, who,
with a handful of bribes and a heart full of cheap intrigue, must do his
work from the corridor. A legislative seat was a two-edged sword to cut
both ways. You could trade with it, using it as a bribe, bartering vote
for vote; that was one edge. Or you could threaten with it, promising
nay for nay, and thus compel some member to save your bill to save his
own; that was the other edge. A mere bribe from the lobby owned but the
one edge; it was like a cavalry saber; you might make the one slash at a
required vote, with as many chances of missing as of cutting it down.
Every argument, therefore, pointed to a seat; whereat Patrick Henry
Hanway bent himself to its acquirement, and at the age of twenty-six he
was sworn to uphold the law and the Constitution and told to vote in the
Assembly. In that body he flourished for ten years, while his manhood
mildewed and his pockets filled.
The native State of Patrick Henry Hanway was a moss-grown member of the
republic and had been one of the original thirteen. It possessed with
other _impedimenta_ a moss-grown aristocracy that borrowed money,
devoured canvasbacks, drank burgundy, wore spotless tow in summer, clung
to the duello, and talked of days of greatness which had been before the
war. It carried moss-grown laws upon its statute books which arranged
for the capture of witches, the flogging of Quakers at a cart's tail,
the boring of Presbyterian tongues with red-hot irons, and the
punishment of masters who oppressed their hapless slaves with terrapin
oftener than three times a week. However, these measures, excellent
doubtless in their hour, together with the aristocracy referred to, had
fallen to decay.
The moss-grown aristocracy were aware in a lifeless, lofty way of
Patrick Henry Hanway, and tolerating while they despised him as one
without an origin, permitted him his place in the legislature. Somebody
must go, and why not Patrick Henry Hanway? They, the aristocracy, would
there command his services in what legislation touching game, and
oysterbeds, and the foreclosure of mortgages they required, and that was
all their need. The supple Patrick Henry Hanway thanked the aristocracy
for the honor, took the place, and carried out their wishes for
patrolling oysterbeds, protecting canvasbacks, and preventing
foreclosures.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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