and Cyrilla Brindley were sympathetically alike. No, Mildred was
confident that in no circumstances, in NO circumstances, would she
relax her ideas of what she personally could do and could not do. Not
that she blamed, or judged at all, women who did as she would not; but
she could not, simply could not, however hard she might be driven, do
those things--though she could easily understand how other women did
them in preference to sinking down into the working class or eking out
a frowsy existence in some poor boarding-house. The temptation would
be great. Thank Heaven, it was not teasing her. She would resist it,
of course. But--
What if Stanley Baird should lose interest? What if, after he lost
interest, she should find herself without money, worse of than she had
been when she sold herself into slavery--highly moral and
conventionally correct slavery, but still slavery--to the little
general with the peaked pink-silk nightcap hiding the absence of the
removed toupee--and with the wonderful pink-silk pajamas, gorgeously
monogramed in violet--and the tiny feet and ugly hands--and those
loathsome needle-pointed mustaches and the hideous habit of mumbling
his tongue and smacking his lips? What if, moneyless, she should not
be able to find another Stanley or a man of the class gentleman willing
to help her generously even on ANY terms? What then?
She was looking out over the sea, her bank-book and statements and
canceled checks in her lap. Their cottage was at the very edge of the
strand; its veranda was often damp from spray after a storm. It was
not storming as she sat there, "taking stock"; under a blue sky an
almost tranquil sea was crooning softly in the sunlight, innocent and
happy and playful as a child. She, dressed in a charming negligee and
looking forward to a merry day in the auto, with lunch and dinner at
attractive, luxurious places farther down the coast--she was stricken
with a horrible sadness, with a terror that made her heart beat wildly.
"I must be crazy!" she said, half aloud. "I've never earned a dollar
with my voice. And for two months it has been unreliable. I'm acting
like a crazy person. What WILL become of me?"
Just then Stanley Baird came through the pretty little house, seeking
her. "There you are!" he cried. "Do go get dressed."
Hastily she flung a scarf over the book and papers in her lap. She had
intended to speak to him about that fresh deposit of five thousand
dollars--to refuse it, to rebuke him. Now she did not dare.
"What's the matter?" he went on. "Headache?"
"It was the wine at dinner last night," explained she. "I ought never
to touch red wine. It disagrees with me horribly."
"That was filthy stuff," said he. "You must take some champagne at
lunch. That'll set you right."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account