Cyrilla was silenced, but not convinced. The amazing improvement in
Mildred's health, the splendid slim strength and suppleness of her
body, the new and stable glories of her voice--all these she knew
about, but they did not convince her. She believed in work, in hard
work, but to her work meant the music itself. She felt that the Rivi
system and the dirty, obscure little Moldini between them were
destroying Mildred by destroying all "temperament" in her.
It was the old, old criticism of talent upon genius. Genius has always
won in its own time and generation all the world except talent. To
talent contemporaneous genius, genius seen at its patient, plodding
toil, seems coarse and obvious and lacking altogether in inspiration.
Talent cannot comprehend that creation is necessarily in travail and in
all manner of unloveliness.
Mildred toiled on like a slave under the lash, and Moldini and the Rivi
system were her twin relentless drivers. She learned to rule herself
with an iron hand. She discovered the full measure of her own
deficiencies, and she determined to make herself a competent lyric
soprano, perhaps something of a dramatic soprano. She dismissed from
her mind all the "high" thoughts, all the dreams wherewith the little
people, even the little people who achieve a certain success, beguile
the tedium of their journey along the hard road. She was not working
to "interpret the thought of the great master" or to "advance the
singing art yet higher" or even to win fame and applause. She had one
object--to earn her living on the grand opera stage, and to earn it as
a prima donna because that meant the best living. She frankly told
Cyrilla that this was her object, when Cyrilla forced her one day to
talk about her aims. Cyrilla looked pained, broke a melancholy silence
to say:
"I know you don't mean that. You are too intelligent. You sing too
well."
"Yes, I mean just that," said Mildred. "A living."
"At any rate, don't say it. You give such a false impression."
"To whom? Not to Crossley, and not to Moldini, and why should I care
what any others think? They are not paying my expenses. And
regardless of what they think now, they'll be at my feet if I succeed,
and they'll put me under theirs if I don't."
"How hard you have grown," cried Cyrilla.
"How sensible, you mean. I've merely stopped being a self-deceiver and
a sentimentalist."
"Believe me, my dear, you are sacrificing your character to your
ambition."
"I never had any real character until ambition came," replied Mildred.
"The soft, vacillating, sweet and weak thing I used to have wasn't
character."
"But, dear, you can't think it superior character to center one's whole
life about a sordid ambition."
"Sordid?"
"Merely to make a living."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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