The Priest and the Acolyte: With an Introductory Protest by Stuart MasonBloxam, John Francis
Religion
The Priest and the Acolyte: With an Introductory Protest by Stuart Mason
Bloxam, John Francis
Catholic Church -- Clergy -- Sexual behavior -- Fiction; Homosexuality -- Fiction
The priest started; he was tired in mind and body; his soul was
sad and his heart heavy as he sat in the terrible solitude of the
confessional ever listening to the same dull round of oft-repeated
sins. He was weary of the conventional tones and matter-of-fact
expressions. Would the world always be the same? For nearly twenty
centuries the Christian priests had sat in the confessional and
listened to the same old tale. The world seemed to him no better;
always the same, the same. The young priest sighed to himself, and
for a moment almost wished people would be worse. Why could they not
escape from these old wearily-made paths and be a little original in
their vices, if sin they must? But the voice he now listened to
aroused him from his reverie. It was so soft and gentle, so diffident
and shy.
He gave the blessing, and listened. Ah, yes! he recognized the voice
now. It was the voice he had heard for the first time only that very
morning: the voice of the little acolyte that had served his Mass.
He turned his head and peered through the grating at the little bowed
head beyond. There was no mistaking those long soft curls. Suddenly,
for one moment, the face was raised, and the large moist blue eyes
met his; he saw the little oval face flushed with shame at the simple
boyish sins he was confessing, and a thrill shot through him, for he
felt that here at least was something in the world that was beautiful,
something that was really true. Would the day come when those soft
scarlet lips would have grown hard and false? when the soft shy treble
would have become careless and conventional? His eyes filled with
tears, and in a voice that had lost its firmness he gave the
absolution.
After a pause, he heard the boy rise to his feet, and watched him wend
his way across the little chapel and kneel before the altar while he
said his penance. The priest hid his thin tired face in his hands and
sighed wearily. The next morning, as he knelt before the altar and
turned to say the words of confession to the little acolyte whose head
was bent so reverently towards him, he bowed low till his hair just
touched the golden halo that surrounded the little face, and he felt
his veins burn and tingle with a strange new fascination.
When that most wonderful thing in the whole world, complete
soul-absorbing love for another, suddenly strikes a man, that man
knows what heaven means, and he understands hell: but if the man be
an ascetic, a priest whose whole heart is given to ecstatic devotion,
it were better for that man if he had never been born.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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