The Prince and BettyWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Prince and Betty
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
"I can see," said Smith, "that Comrade Maude is a man to whom you give
the glad hand."
Mr. Jarvis regarded John with respectful affection.
"Sure! He's to the good, Mr. Maude is."
"Exactly," said Smith. "To resume, then. The fact is, Comrade Jarvis,
we are much persecuted by scoundrels. How sad it is in this world! We
look to every side. We look to north, east, south, and west, and what
do we see? Mainly scoundrels. I fancy you have heard a little about our
troubles before this. In fact, I gather that the same scoundrels
actually approached you with a view to engaging your services to do us
up, but that you very handsomely refused the contract. We are the staff
of _Peaceful Moments_."
"_Peaceful Moments_," said Mr. Jarvis. "Sure, dat's right. A guy
comes to me and says he wants you put through it, but I gives him de
trundown."
"So I was informed," said Smith. "Well, failing you, they went to a
gentleman of the name of Reilly--"
"Spider Reilly?"
"Exactly. Spider Reilly, the lessee and manager of the Three Points
gang."
Mr. Jarvis frowned.
"Dose T'ree Points, dey're to de bad. Dey're fresh."
"It is too true, Comrade Jarvis."
"Say," went on Mr. Jarvis, waxing wrathful at the recollection, "what
do youse t'ink dem fresh stiffs done de odder night? Started some rough
woik in me own dance-joint."
"Shamrock Hall?" said Smith. "I heard about it."
"Dat's right, Shamrock Hall. Got gay, dey did, wit' some of the Table
Hillers. Say, I got it in for dem gazebos, sure I have. Surest t'ing
you know."
Smith beamed approval.
"That," he said, "is the right spirit. Nothing could be more admirable.
We are bound together by our common desire to check the ever-growing
spirit of freshness among the members of the Three Points. Add to that
the fact that we are united by a sympathetic knowledge of the manners
and customs of cats, and especially that Comrade Maude, England's
greatest fancier, is our mutual friend, and what more do we want?
Nothing."
"Mr. Maude's to de good," assented Mr. Jarvis, eying John once more in
friendly fashion.
"We are all to the good," said Smith. "Now, the thing I wished to ask
you is this. The office of the paper was, until this morning, securely
guarded by Comrade Brady, whose name will be familiar to you."
"De Kid?"
"On the bull's-eye, as usual. Kid Brady, the coming light-weight
champion of the world. Well, he has unfortunately been compelled to
leave us, and the way into the office is consequently clear to any
sand-bag specialist who cares to wander in. So what I came to ask was,
will you take Comrade Brady's place for a few days?"
"How's that?"
"Will you come in and sit in the office for the next day or so and help
hold the fort? I may mention that there is money attached to the job.
We will pay for your services."
Mr. Jarvis reflected but a brief moment.
"Why, sure," he said. "Me fer dat."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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