The Prince and BettyWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Prince and Betty
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
It was not an abode of luxury, the tenement; they had to feel their way
up the stairs in almost pitch darkness. Most of the doors were shut,
but one on the second floor was ajar. Through the opening John had a
glimpse of a number of women sitting on up-turned boxes. The floor was
covered with little heaps of linen. All the women were sewing.
Stumbling in the darkness, John almost fell against the door. None of
the women looked up at the noise. In Broster Street time was evidently
money.
On the top floor Pugsy halted before the open door of an empty room.
The architect in this case had apparently given rein to a passion for
originality, for he had constructed the apartment without a window of
any sort whatsoever. The entire stock of air used by the occupants came
through a small opening over the door.
It was a warm day, and John recoiled hastily.
"Is this the kid's room?" he said. "I guess the corridor's good enough
for me to wait in. What the owner of this place wants," he went on
reflectively, "is scalping. Well, we'll do it in the paper if we can't
in any other way. Is this your kid?"
A small boy had appeared. He seemed surprised to see visitors. Pugsy
undertook to do the honors. Pugsy, as interpreter, was energetic, but
not wholly successful. He appeared to have a fixed idea that the
Italian language was one easily mastered by the simple method of saying
"da" instead of "the," and adding a final "a" to any word that seemed
to him to need one.
"Say, kid," he began, "has da rent-a-man come yet-a?"
The black eyes of the wop kid clouded. He gesticulated, and said
something in his native language.
"He hasn't got next," reported Master Maloney. "He can't git on to me
curves. Dese wop kids is all bone-heads. Say, kid, look-a here." He
walked to the door, rapped on it smartly, and, assuming a look of
extreme ferocity, stretched out his hand and thundered: "Unbelt-a!
Slip-a me da stuff!"
The wop kid's puzzlement in the face of this address became pathetic.
"This," said John, deeply interested, "is getting exciting. Don't give
in, Pugsy. I guess the trouble is that your too perfect Italian accent
is making the kid homesick."
Master Maloney made a gesture of disgust.
"I'm t'roo. Dese Dagoes makes me tired. Dey don't know enough to go
upstairs to take de elevated. Beat it, you mutt," he observed with
moody displeasure, accompanying the words with a gesture which conveyed
its own meaning. The wop kid, plainly glad to get away, slipped down
the stairs like a shadow.
Pugsy shrugged his shoulders.
"Boss," he said resignedly, "it's up to youse."
John reflected.
"It's all right," he said. "Of course, if the collector had been here,
the kid wouldn't be. All I've got to do is to wait."
He peered over the banisters into the darkness below.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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