The Prince and BettyWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Prince and Betty
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
As a matter of fact, Mr. Scobell was exceedingly pleased with the scale
of the reception, which to his mind amounted practically to pomp. The
Palace Guard, forty strong, lined the quay. Besides these, there were
four officers, a band, and sixteen mounted carbineers. The rest of the
army was dotted along the streets. In addition to the military, there
was a gathering of a hundred and fifty civilians, mainly drawn from
fishing circles. The majority of these remained stolidly silent
throughout, but three, more emotional, cheered vigorously as a young
man was seen to step on to the gangway, carrying a grip, and make for
the shore. General Poineau, a white-haired warrior with a fierce
mustache, strode forward and saluted. The Palace Guards presented arms.
The band struck up the Mervian national anthem. General Poineau,
lowering his hand, put on a pair of _pince-nez_ and began to
unroll an address of welcome.
It was then seen that the young man was Mr. Crump. General Poineau
removed his glasses and gave an impatient twirl to his mustache. Mr.
Scobell, who for possibly the first time in his career was not smoking
(though, as was afterward made manifest, he had the materials on his
person), bustled to the front.
"Where's his nibs, Crump?" he enquired.
The secretary's reply was swept away in a flood of melody. To the band
Mr. Crump's face was strange. They had no reason to suppose that he was
not Prince John, and they acted accordingly. With a rattle of drums
they burst once more into their spirited rendering of the national
anthem.
Mr. Scobell sawed the air with his arms, but was powerless to dam the
flood.
"His Highness is shaving, sir!" bawled Mr. Crump, depositing his grip
on the quay and making a trumpet of his hands.
"Shaving!"
"Yes, sir. I told him he ought to come along, but His Highness said he
wasn't going to land looking like a tramp comedian."
By this time General Poineau had explained matters to the band and they
checked the national anthem abruptly in the middle of a bar, with the
exception of the cornet player, who continued gallantly by himself till
a feeling of loneliness brought the truth home to him. An awkward stage
wait followed, which lasted until John was seen crossing the deck, when
there were more cheers, and General Poineau, resuming his
_pince-nez_, brought out the address of welcome again.
At this point Mr. Scobell made his presence felt.
"Glad to meet you, Prince," he said, coming forward. "Scobell's my
name. Shake hands with General Poineau. No, that's wrong. I guess he
kisses your hand, don't he?"
"I'll swing on him if he does," said John, cheerfully.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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