The Prince and BettyWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Prince and Betty
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
"You are very right," responded Smith. "Comrade Renshaw's methods were
good in their way. I have no quarrel with Comrade Renshaw. But he did
not lead public thought. He catered exclusively to children with water
on the brain and men and women with solid ivory skulls. I feel that
there are other and larger publics. I cannot content myself with
ladling out a weekly dole of predigested mental breakfast food. I--"
"Then you, I guess," said Mr. Parker, "are responsible for this Broster
Street thing?"
"At any rate, I approve of it and put it in the paper. If any husky
guy, as Comrade Maloney would put it, is anxious to aim a swift kick at
the author of that article, he can aim it at me."
"I see," said Mr. Parker. He paused. "It said 'Number one' in the
paper. Does that mean there are going to be more of them?"
"There is no flaw in your reasoning. There are to be several more."
Mr. Parker looked at the door. It was closed. He bent forward.
"See here," he said, "I'm going to talk straight, if you'll let me."
"Assuredly, Comrade Parker. There must be no secrets, no restraint
between us. I would not have you go away and say to yourself, 'Did I
make my meaning clear? Was I too elusive?'"
Mr. Parker scratched the floor with the point of a gleaming shoe. He
seemed to be searching for words.
"Say on," urged Smith. "Have you come to point out some flaw in that
article? Does it fall short in any way of your standard for such work?"
Mr. Parker came to the point.
"If I were you," he said, "I should quit it. I shouldn't go on with
those articles."
"Why?" enquired Smith.
"Because," said Mr. Parker.
He looked at Smith, and smiled slowly, an ingratiating smile. Smith did
not respond.
"I do not completely gather your meaning," he said. "I fear I must ask
you to hand it to me with still more breezy frankness. Do you speak
from purely friendly motives? Are you advising me to discontinue the
series because you fear that it will damage the literary reputation of
the paper? Do you speak solely as a literary connoisseur? Or are there
other reasons?"
Mr. Parker leaned forward.
"The gentleman whom I represent--"
"Then this is no matter of your own personal taste? There is another?"
"See here, I'm representing a gentleman who shall be nameless, and I've
come on his behalf to tip you off to quit this game. These articles of
yours are liable to cause him inconvenience."
"Financial? Do you mean that he may possibly have to spend some of his
spare doubloons in making Broster Street fit to live in?"
"It's not so much the money. It's the publicity. There are reasons why
he would prefer not to have it made too public that he's the owner of
the tenements down there."
"Well, he knows what to do. If he makes Broster Street fit for a
not-too-fastidious pig to live in--"
Mr. Parker coughed. A tentative cough, suggesting that the situation
was now about to enter upon a more delicate phase.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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