The Prince and BettyWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Prince and Betty
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
"Now, see here, sir," he said, "I'm going to be frank. I'm going to put
my cards on the table, and see if we can't fix something up. Now, see
here. We don't want any unpleasantness. You aren't in this business for
your health, eh? You've got your living to make, same as everybody
else, I guess. Well, this is how it stands. To a certain extent, I
don't mind owning, since we're being frank with one another, you've got
us--that's to say, this gentleman I'm speaking of--in a cleft stick.
Frankly, that Broster Street story of yours has attracted attention--I
saw it myself in two Sunday papers--and if there's going to be any more
of them--Well, now, here's a square proposition. How much do you want
to stop those articles? That's straight. I've been frank with you, and
I want you to be frank with me. What's your figure? Name it, and if you
don't want the earth I guess we needn't quarrel."
He looked expectantly at Smith. Smith, gazing sadly at him through his
monocle, spoke quietly, with the restrained dignity of some old Roman
senator dealing with the enemies of the Republic.
"Comrade Parker," he said, "I fear that you have allowed your
intercourse with this worldly city to undermine your moral sense. It is
useless to dangle rich bribes before the editorial eyes. _Peaceful
Moments_ cannot be muzzled. You doubtless mean well, according to
your somewhat murky lights, but we are not for sale, except at fifteen
cents weekly. From the hills of Maine to the Everglades of Florida,
from Portland, Oregon, to Melonsquashville, Tennessee, one sentence is
in every man's mouth. And what is that sentence? I give you three
guesses. You give it up? It is this: '_Peaceful Moments_ cannot be
muzzled!'"
Mr. Parker rose.
"Nothing doing, then?" he said.
"Nothing."
Mr. Parker picked up his hat.
"See here," he said, a grating note in his voice, hitherto smooth and
conciliatory, "I've no time to fool away talking to you. I've given you
your chance. Those stories are going to be stopped. And if you've any
sense in you at all, you'll stop them yourself before you get hurt.
That's all I've got to say, and that goes."
He went out, closing the door behind him with a bang that added
emphasis to his words.
"All very painful and disturbing," murmured Smith. "Comrade Brown!" he
called.
Betty came in.
"Did our late visitor bite a piece out of you on his way out? He was in
the mood to do something of the sort."
"He seemed angry," said Betty.
"He _was_ angry," said Smith. "Do you know what has happened,
Comrade Brown? With your very first contribution to the paper you have
hit the bull's-eye. You have done the state some service. Friend Parker
came as the representative of the owner of those Broster Street houses.
He wanted to buy us off. We've got them scared, or he wouldn't have
shown his hand with such refreshing candor. Have you any engagements at
present?"
"I was just going out to lunch, if you could spare me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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