The Prince and BettyWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Prince and Betty
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
There were preliminary bouts before the main event. A burly gentleman
in shirt-sleeves entered the ring, followed by two slim youths in
fighting costume and a massive person in a red jersey, blue serge
trousers, and yellow braces, who chewed gum with an abstracted air
throughout the proceedings.
The burly gentleman gave tongue in a voice that cleft the air like a
cannon ball.
"Ex-hibit-i-on four-round bout between Patsy Milligan and Tommy
Goodley, members of this club. Patsy on my right, Tommy on my left.
Gentlemen will kindly stop smokin'."
The audience did nothing of the sort. Possibly they did not apply the
description to themselves. Possibly they considered the appeal a mere
formula. Somewhere in the background a gong sounded, and Patsy, from
the right, stepped briskly forward to meet Tommy, approaching from the
left.
The contest was short but energetic. At intervals the combatants would
cling affectionately to one another, and on these occasions the
red-jerseyed man, still chewing gum and still wearing the same air of
being lost in abstract thought, would split up the mass by the simple
method of ploughing his way between the pair. Toward the end of the
first round Thomas, eluding a left swing, put Patrick neatly to the
floor, where the latter remained for the necessary ten seconds.
The remaining preliminaries proved disappointing. So much so that in
the last of the series a soured sportsman on one of the benches near
the roof began in satirical mood to whistle the "Merry Widow Waltz." It
was here that the red-jerseyed thinker for the first and last time came
out of his meditative trance. He leaned over the ropes, and spoke,
without heat, but firmly:
"If that guy whistling back up yonder thinks he can do better than
these boys, he can come right down into the ring."
The whistling ceased.
There was a distinct air of relief when the last preliminary was
finished and preparations for the main bout began. It did not commence
at once. There were formalities to be gone through, introductions and
the like. The burly gentleman reappeared from nowhere, ushering into
the ring a sheepishly grinning youth in a flannel suit.
"In-ter-_doo_-cin' Young Leary," he bellowed impressively, "a noo
member of this club, who will box some good boy here in September."
He walked to the other side of the ring and repeated the remark. A
raucous welcome was accorded to the new member.
Two other notable performers were introduced in a similar manner, and
then the building became suddenly full of noise, for a tall youth in a
bath robe, attended by a little army of assistants, had entered the
ring. One of the army carried a bright green bucket, on which were
painted in white letters the words "Cyclone Dick Fisher." A moment
later there was another, though a far less, uproar, as Kid Brady, his
pleasant face wearing a self-conscious smirk, ducked under the ropes
and sat down in the opposite corner.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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