The Prince and BettyWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Prince and Betty
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
Penetrating into the Kid's dressing-room some moments later, the
editorial staff found the winner of the ten-round exhibition bout
between members of the club seated on a chair having his right leg
rubbed by a shock-headed man in a sweater, who had been one of his
seconds during the conflict. The Kid beamed as they entered.
"Gents," he said, "come right in. Mighty glad to see you."
"It is a relief to me, Comrade Brady," said Smith, "to find that you
can see us. I had expected to find that Comrade Fisher's purposeful
wallops had completely closed your star-likes."
"Sure, I never felt them. He's a good, quick boy, is Dick, but,"
continued the Kid with powerful imagery "he couldn't hit a hole in a
block of ice-cream, not if he was to use a coke-hammer."
"And yet at one period in the proceedings," said Smith, "I fancied that
your head would come unglued at the neck. But the fear was merely
transient. When you began to get going, why, then I felt like some
watcher of the skies when a new planet swims into his ken, or like
stout Cortez when with eagle eyes he stared at the Pacific."
The Kid blinked.
"How's that?" he enquired.
"And why did I feel like that, Comrade Brady? I will tell you. Because
my faith in you was justified. Because there before me stood the ideal
fighting editor of _Peaceful Moments_. It is not a post that any
weakling can fill. Mere charm of manner cannot qualify a man for the
position. No one can hold down the job simply by having a kind heart or
being good at comic songs. No. We want a man of thews and sinews, a man
who would rather be hit on the head with a half-brick than not. And
you, Comrade Brady, are such a man."
The shock-headed man, who during this conversation had been
concentrating himself on his subject's left leg now announced that he
guessed that would about do, and having advised the Kid not to stop and
pick daisies, but to get into his clothes at once before he caught a
chill, bade the company goodnight and retired.
Smith shut the door.
"Comrade Brady," he said, "you know those articles about the tenements
we've been having in the paper?"
"Sure. I read 'em. They're to the good. It was about time some strong
josher came and put it across 'em."
"So we thought. Comrade Parker, however, totally disagreed with us."
"Parker?"
"That's what I'm coming to," said Smith. "The day before yesterday a
man named Parker called at the office and tried to buy us off."
"You gave him the hook, I guess?" queried the interested Kid.
"To such an extent, Comrade Brady," said Smith, "that he left breathing
threatenings and slaughter. And it is for that reason that we have
ventured to call upon you. We're pretty sure by this time that Comrade
Parker has put one of the gangs on to us."
"You don't say!" exclaimed the Kid. "Gee! They're tough propositions,
those gangs."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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