The Prince and BettyWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Prince and Betty
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
"Guess he's feeling pretty poor," he said. "It's no good him trying to
run for a while after he's put his chin in the way of a real live one.
I remember when Joe Peterson put me out, way back when I was new to the
game--it was the same year I fought Martin Kelly. He had an awful
punch, had old Joe, and he put me down and out in the eighth round.
After the fight they found me on the fire-escape outside my
dressing-room. 'Come in, Kid,' says they. 'It's all right, chaps,' I
says, 'I'm dying.' Like that. 'It's all right, chaps, I'm dying.'
Same with this guy. See what I mean?"
They formed a group about the fallen black-jack expert.
"Pardon us," said Smith courteously, "for breaking in upon your
reverie, but if you could spare us a moment of your valuable time,
there are one or two things which we would like to know."
"Sure thing," agreed the Kid.
"In the first place," continued Smith, "would it be betraying
professional secrets if you told us which particular bevy of energetic
cutthroats it is to which you are attached?"
"Gent," explained the Kid, "wants to know what's your gang."
The man on the ground muttered something that to Smith and John was
unintelligible.
"It would be a charity," said the former, "if some philanthropist would
give this fellow elocution lessons. Can you interpret, Comrade Brady?"
"Says it's the Three Points," said the Kid.
"The Three Points? That's Spider Reilly's lot. Perhaps this _is_
Spider Reilly?"
"Nope," said the Kid. "I know the Spider. This ain't him. This is some
other mutt."
"Which other mutt in particular?" asked Smith. "Try and find out,
Comrade Brady. You seem to be able to understand what he says. To me,
personally, his remarks sound like the output of a gramophone with a
hot potato in its mouth."
"Says he's Jack Repetto," announced the interpreter.
There was another interruption at this moment. The bashful Mr. Repetto,
plainly a man who was not happy in the society of strangers, made
another attempt to withdraw. Reaching out a pair of lean hands, he
pulled the Kid's legs from under him with a swift jerk, and, wriggling
to his feet, started off again down the road. Once more, however,
desire outran performance. He got as far as the nearest street-lamp,
but no further. The giddiness seemed to overcome him again, for he
grasped the lamp-post, and, sliding slowly to the ground, sat there
motionless.
The Kid, whose fall had jolted and bruised him, was inclined to be
wrathful and vindictive. He was the first of the three to reach the
elusive Mr. Repetto, and if that worthy had happened to be standing
instead of sitting it might have gone hard with him. But the Kid was
not the man to attack a fallen foe. He contented himself with brushing
the dust off his person and addressing a richly abusive flow of remarks
to Mr. Repetto.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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