Female friendship -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Paris (France) -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
There was a moment’s pause, and then Martha broke out impulsively:
“I can’t help thinking that it might have been prevented. It may be that
you were too proud. Have you ever thought that?”
“No,” he said, with a certain grimness. “I have never taken that view of
the case. She made it so entirely plain that she wanted to be rid of me
at once and forever--that there was no room for reflection on that
point. If there is a man alive who could have held her bound after her
words to me, I hope I may never make his acquaintance.”
The appearance of agitation which had marked the beginning of the
interview was now utterly gone from Harold. He spoke deliberately, and
as if with a certain satisfaction in the sense of getting his thoughts
into form.
Again there was a pause. Then Martha said, speaking very low:
“But, Harold, you are doing without love.”
“I have had it,” he answered, “and what has been is mine, to keep
forever. I have lost my wife, but the greatness, the exaltation, of my
love increases. I have learned that love is subjective and independent.
A renunciation is only an episode in it. I deserve no pity. No, Martha;
never fall into the mistake of pitying me. I should pity you from my
heart if I thought you would miss what I have had; and the gods may be
lenient to as sweet a soul as yours. You may have the joy, some day,
without the renunciation.”
“I don’t want it! I wouldn’t have it!” cried the girl, vehemently. “No
one will ever love me, and I wouldn’t have them to. It would break my
heart. It makes me seem ridiculous even to speak of it. I want _you_ to
have love and joy. That is all I ask.”
“Well, I’ve had it. Be satisfied. Of the two of us,--except that you
have hope, which I have not,--you are the one to be pitied.”
“Oh, Harold, _don’t_! Unless you want to break my heart outright, don’t
talk to me about being happy. I want happiness for _you: I’ve_ got no
use for it.”
She got up as she spoke, and moved toward him. Harold stood up, too, and
bent to kiss her. Demonstrations between them were unusual, and it was a
very Martha-like instinct that made her now so incline her head as to
receive his caress upon her hair.
“We will go back to the others now,” said Harold. “Thank you, Martha.”
So together they went back to the wedding-party.
[Illustration: “‘I KNEW IT WAS ANGUISH TO YOU.’”]
[Illustration: “AS SHE HAD SEEN HER ONCE BEFORE.”]
VIII
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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