§68. 4. That the parties should not be nearly related. The restrictions in this direction were fixed rather by public opinion than by law and varied greatly at different times, becoming gradually less severe. In general it may be said that marriage was absolutely forbidden between ascendants and descendants, between other cognates within the fourth degree (§25), and the nearer _adfīnēs_ (§26). If the parties could satisfy these conditions they might be legally married, but distinctions were still made that affected the civil status of the children, although no doubt was cast upon their legitimacy or upon the moral character of their parents. §69. If the husband and wife were both Roman citizens, their marriage was called _iūstae nūptiae_, which we may translate "regular marriage," their children were _iūstī līberī_ and were by birth _cīvēs optimō iūre_, "possessed of all civil rights." If but one of the parties was a Roman citizen and the other a member of a community having the _iūs cōnūbiī_ but not the full _cīvitās_, the marriage was still called _iūstae nūptiae_, but the children took the civil standing of the father. This means that if the father was a citizen and the mother a foreigner, the children were citizens; but if the father was a foreigner and the mother a citizen, the children were foreigners (_peregrīnī_) with the father. But if either of the parties was without the _iūs cōnūbiī_, the marriage, though still legal, was called _nūptiae iniūstae_ or _mātrimōnium iniūstum_, "an irregular marriage," and the children, though legitimate, took the civil position of the parent of lower degree. We seem to have something analogous to this in the loss of social standing which usually follows the marriage of a person with one of distinctly inferior position. §70. Betrothals.--Betrothal (_spōnsālia_) as a preliminary to marriage was considered good form but was not legally necessary and carried with it no obligations that could be enforced by law. In the _spōnsālia_ the maiden was promised to the man as his bride with "words of style," that is, in solemn form. The promise was made, not by the maiden herself, but by her _pater familiās_, or by her _tūtor_ if she was not _in potestāte_. In the same way, the promise was made to the man directly only in case he was _suī iūris_, otherwise to the Head of his House, who had asked for him the maiden in marriage. The "words of style" were probably something like this: "_Spondēsne Gāiam, tuam fīliam_ (or if she was a ward: _Gāiam, Lūciī fīliam_), _mihi_ (or _fīliō meō_) _uxōrem darī?_" "_Dī bene vortant! Spondeō._" "_Dī bene vortant!_"