The good parson again blessed her, and went away. She took leave of him
with tears in her eyes, entreating him often to visit her in that
heathen land of the Amorite, the Hittite, and the Girgashite: to which
he assented, on many solemn and qualifying conditions--and then the
comely bride retired to her chamber to pray.
It was customary, in those days, for the bride's-man and maiden, and a
few select friends, to visit the new-married couple after they had
retired to rest, and drink a cup to their healths, their happiness, and
a numerous posterity. But the laird delighted not in this: he wished to
have his jewel to himself; and, slipping away quietly from his jovial
party, he retired to his chamber to his beloved, and bolted the door.
He found her engaged with the writings of the Evangelists, and terribly
demure. The laird went up to caress her; but she turned away her head,
and spoke of the follies of aged men, and something of the broad way
that leadeth to destruction. The laird did not thoroughly comprehend
this allusion; but being considerably flustered by drinking, and
disposed to take all in good part, he only remarked, as he took off his
shoes and stockings, that, "whether the way was broad or narrow, it was
time that they were in their bed."
"Sure, Mr. Colwan, you won't go to bed to-night, at such an important
period of your life, without first saying prayers for yourself and me."
When she said this, the laird had his head down almost to the ground,
loosing his shoe-buckle; but when he heard of prayers, on such a night,
he raised his face suddenly up, which was all over as flushed and red
as a rose, and answered:
"Prayers, Mistress! Lord help your crazed head, is this a night for
prayers?"
He had better have held his peace. There was such a torrent of profound
divinity poured out upon him that the laird became ashamed, both of
himself and his new-made spouse, and wist not what to say: but the
brandy helped him out.
"It strikes me, my dear, that religious devotion would be somewhat out
of place to-night," said he. "Allowing that it is ever so beautiful,
and ever so beneficial, were we to ride on the rigging of it at all
times, would we not be constantly making a farce of it: It would be
like reading the Bible and the jestbook, verse about, and would render
the life of man a medley of absurdity and confusion."
But, against the cant of the bigot or the hypocrite, no reasoning can
aught avail. If you would argue until the end of life, the infallible
creature must alone be right. So it proved with the laird. One
Scripture text followed another, not in the least connected, and one
sentence of the profound Mr. Wringhim's sermons after another, proving
the duty of family worship, till the laird lost patience, and tossing
himself into bed, said carelessly that he would leave that duty upon
her shoulders for one night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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