But the most singular instance of this wonderful man's power over my
mind was that he had as complete influence over me by night as by day.
All my dreams corresponded exactly with his suggestions; and, when he
was absent from me, still his arguments sunk deeper in my heart than
even when he was present. I dreamed that night of a great triumph
obtained, and, though the whole scene was but dimly and confusedly
defined in my vision, yet the overthrow and death of Mr. Blanchard was
the first step by which I attained the eminent station I occupied.
Thus, by dreaming of the event by night, and discoursing of it by day,
it soon became so familiar to my mind that I almost conceived it as
done. It was resolved on: which was the first and greatest victory
gained; for there was no difficulty in finding opportunities enow of
cutting off a man who, every good day, was to be found walking by
himself in private grounds. I went and heard him preach for two days,
and in fact I held his tenets scarcely short of blasphemy; they were
such as I had never heard before, and his congregation, which was
numerous, were turning up their ears and drinking in his doctrines with
the utmost delight; for Oh they suited their carnal natures and
self-sufficiency to a hair! He was actually holding it forth, as a
fact, that "it was every man's own blame if he was not saved!" What
horrible misconstruction! And then he was alleging, and trying to prove
from nature and reason, that no man ever was guilty of a sinful action
who might not have declined it had he so chosen! "Wretched
controvertist!" thought I to myself an hundred times, "shall not the
sword of the Lord be moved from its place of peace for such
presumptuous, absurd testimonies as these!"
When I began to tell the prince about these false doctrines, to my
astonishment I found that he had been in the church himself, and had
every argument that the old divine had used verbatim; and he remarked
on them with great concern that these were not the tenets that
corresponded with his views in society, and that he had agents in every
city, and every land, exerting their powers to put them down. I asked,
with great simplicity: "Are all your subjects Christians, prince?"
"All my European subjects are, or deem themselves so," returned he;
"and they are the most faithful and true subjects I have."
Who could doubt, after this, that he was the Czar of Russia? I have
nevertheless had reasons to doubt of his identity since that period,
and which of my conjectures is right I believe the God of Heaven only
knows, for I do not. I shall go on to write such things as I remember,
and, if anyone shall ever take the trouble to read over these
confessions, such a one will judge for himself. It will be observed
that, since ever I fell in with this extraordinary person, I have
written about him only, and I must continue to do so to the end of this
memoir, as I have performed no great or interesting action in which he
had not a principal share.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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