She had not seen Godfrey since that night on the way from the cinema
when she and Winnie caught a glimpse of him from under the dark shadow
of the trees, therefore it was plain that he must be avoiding her. He
knew her hours at the promenade, and could easily have said a word in
passing through even if he did not wish for anything more. He had
taken her at her word; but being a woman, the desire to talk everything
out grew during those three long stormy days to an agony of
exasperation which was almost worse to bear at the moment than the loss
of Godfrey himself.
After passing out of the promenade she came back again, saying to
Lillie over her shoulder that she would go home by the cliff because
she had a headache and a blow would do it good. She told herself the
same thing. But beneath all that she was eagerly aware that Godfrey's
lodgings lay in that direction. As she went down the terrace she could
see the windows all open and the landlady moving about inside with a
duster. For a moment she stood perfectly still, experiencing that
sensation of physical sickness which comes from sudden emotional
disappointment. She did not think at all, only suffered under the
maddening frustration of her desire to have it all out with Godfrey
once more before they finally parted. The waves and the sky did not
exist for her, though they would always give dignity to the memory of
what passed between Godfrey and herself that night on the cliff top.
For while the seaside accords with frothy impermanence in love as no
other background seems able to do, it is because those playing at
passion feel subconsciously how little their light loves matter in face
of that unchangeableness. Caroline stood there until she recovered
herself; then the landlady came to shake the duster from the window and
she walked slowly towards the Cottage.
* * * * * *
The ladies were already seated at tea when Caroline opened the front
door. Miss Ethel at once rose from the table with a dish of jam in her
hand. "Caroline's tea," she said briefly.
"But you have not taken any yourself," objected Mrs. Bradford. "And I
must say I don't see why Caroline should have it when our stock is
getting so low."
"We promised to board and lodge her properly in return for her service,
and I'm going to do it," said Miss Ethel with a tightening of the lips.
"Well, no one can say she has done her fair share of the bargain; at
least, during the last few days," said Mrs. Bradford. "She seems in a
sort of dream. Here! give me a bit more of that jam before you take it
away."
"Caroline has never forgotten to bring my morning tea once since I was
ill," said Miss Ethel. "But she certainly does not seem herself now.
I don't know what is the matter with her."
"Got her head full of young men, no doubt," said Mrs. Bradford. "It
makes some girls like that, of course."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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